Fresh Starts
by Meleeza
Summary: Callie's mother moves them to Charming, her hometown, for a new start. Watch how she adjusts to her new life in Charming under the watchful eye of her new family. Summary sucks. Please read and review. Title may change.
1. Chapter 1: Meeting the Family

New idea I got. Please read and review. I want to know what everyone thinks about this and if I should continue.

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Chapter 1: Meeting the Family

Mom was making us move.

All the way from Chicago, IL to fucking Charming, CA. She didn't even tell us the real reason, she gave us a bullshit excuse of wanting to start a new life. We had everything in Chicago: friends, house, job. What would we need a new life for? Well we had everything but family. See Mom moved from her hometown in Charming to go somewhere that her family didn't have ties to. She wanted to live where she didn't have to worry about the bad. Yet she was making us move there?

Her name was Jasmine 'Jazzy' Teller. She was thirty something years old with long dark hair and light blue eyes. Mom was caring in every way a mother should be. She made sure we had what we wanted, she punished us when we did wrong, rewarded us sometimes too. She was great. She had us two kids only, our dad was a no show. I didn't care, not like we needed him anyway.

My brother, Caleb, was annoying as annoying can be. He had messy dark blonde hair and blue eyes. He was athletic, we both were, having been on track team. He was protective of me too, even when I could handle myself he but in. Even though he annoyed me, I still loved him. He was the older one.

I had issues being the younger one. I wanted to do things that didn't follow in the same direction as Caleb. Guess that's why I did lots of things that my mother hated. I used to be out later than she wanted. Get into trouble at school; detention, suspension. She told me I was bright and I was wasting my intelligence. The same lecture each time. Caleb was the good one of us two though he wasn't perfect. He too did the wrong things but not as much as me.

My name was Callie. I had long dark hair with bright blue eyes. I was medium sized, not too big and not too small. I was energetic and happy and wild. I changed soon. Weeks before Mom said we would move, I had gotten into a fight, some girl had messed with me for the last time. Later that day while I was walking home, some man grabbed me, took me to an alley and violated me. Wasn't the same again after that. No smiling, no happiness, no energy. I was torn inside. Mom knew a week later after I lashed out and accidentally spilled my dark secret.

That was the reason we moved.

To get away from it all. Fresh start.

Mom knew what was best for us. She wanted to help me. Just didn't know how to do it on her own with no family support.

And there we were, in the car driving from Chicago to Charming. The drive was _long._ So many days spent riding and sleeping. No fun. Mom said it would be worth all the boredom. I sure hoped she was right. Spending day and night in a car with an annoying brother and no way to get out was hell.

We left Monday morning, we didn't get to Charming until Friday evening. Nearly 5 days non stop. I was surprised we got that far though, Mom was determined to get there soon. Summer had started already so there was no hassle about school. We packed everything we needed only, leaving what we didn't want.

Looking out the window watching my life pass in blurs, I noticed one thing. Lots of emptiness. No buildings in sight. Just road and trees. Charming was a small town by the looks of the outside. Caleb was snoring in the seat beside me. He had fallen asleep just half an hour ago and he was already knocked out. I went to turn up the volume of my

I-Pod to drown out the snoring when my mother spoke.

"We're almost there." She sounded tired. Driving for so long could do that to a person.

"You said that an hour ago..." I muttered laying my head on the window. "and I'm hungry."

Mom frowned. "You'll have to wait then. There's nothing else in the car to eat." She told me, leaning back into her seat. I saw a sigh to her left. 'Welcome to Charming'. I sighed loudly, "Finally!" Mom shook her head smiling. I could see the town, small like I assumed.

Mom drove straight down, taking a few turns, until we stopped in front of 'Teller-Morrow'. Was this it?, I thought taking off my seat belt. "Wake your brother up." She told me getting out of the car. She walked to the passenger window and poked her head inside. "Gently and nicely." She ordered. I smiled to her and she shook her head laughing.

Oh I'll be gentle.

Once Mom was away from the car I turned my attention to my older brother. He was sleeping so peacefully. I leaned over to him and smacked him softly on the cheek. His eyes snapped open instantly. He jumped up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I'm up. I'm up." He muttered and yawned. I shook my head.

"We're here idiot." I opened the car door and stepped out, the air hitting me directly. Felt nice. I looked around. There was a building separate from the rest that looked like a cabin of some sort. The other part was a garage, several put into one and then there was a door. A shop?

Mom was talking to a few guys up ahead. I shut the door and leaned against it, yawning. Caleb came around and slumped against the car nearly falling to the floor.

"Who she talkin' to?" I gave him a look.

"Does it look like I know?" He glared at me but I brushed it off. "Probably someone she knows."

"No shit. She aint gonna talk to strangers." He glanced over at Mom, "Or hug them." I watched Mom. She was smiling and laughing, hugging some of the men there. It was odd. The men were strange looking, all wearing the same type of vest with the words 'Sons of Anarchy' written across the back in an arch. In the middle was the Grimm Reaper holding a crystal ball with the letter 'A' in the middle, also holding a scythe with the body of a gun. Under neath that was 'California' in an under arch.

Mom sure had one hell of a past we didn't know about.

She caught us looking and motioned for us to come. I groaned, I didn't want to meet anyone. Why did she do that? Caleb pushed off the car, pulling my arm and forcing me off too. I hit him in the arm with the back of my hand. "Ow. No need to be violent." He muttered.

I laughed, "I can show you violent." He narrowed his eyes at me and I laughed again. "I can do the same Caleb." He smirked but that smirk fell when we reached Mom and the men. I gulped when I noticed them all staring at me with raised brows. I stepped closer to Caleb and he reacted, tensing up and sort of stepping in front of me.

"Guys these are my kids. Caleb and Callie." Mom said with a smile. Some of the men smiled at us. The man who caught my attention the most was not in the group. He was far away, talking to another. He had a shaved head with dark orbs, his hands were dirty and he wore the same vest as the others. He was talking to another man who had wild looking hair. He titled his head, looking my way. He had blue eyes and he sent chills up my spine.

"Kids this is Chibs," He pointed to a man who had scars on either side of his face. "Hello." He had an accent and I smiled at him, accents were nice. "Opie." He pointed to a tall man with a beard growing back in. He nodded his head to us. "Juice." I couldn't believe these names. Juice looked to be the youngest there. He had a small Mohawk with a thunderbolt tattooed on either side of his head. "And finally your uncle Jax."

This Uncle of ours had the same blonde hair as Caleb. He had blue eyes like ours. "Well aren't you gonna give me a hug?" Jax asked. I stared at him like he were a maniac and stepped back.

"Seems like thats a no." Mom laughed walking away. I followed behind her, rubbing my temple. My head was pounding. I ignored the others, just wanting to go to our new home. I didn't want to be around so many men. Mom knocked on the door, the only door there.

"Hold on." Said a lady from inside. She huffed and unlocked the door. Her mouth went open and she hugged Mom. "When were you gonna tell us you were comin'?" She asked Mom with a smile.

"Oh you know me. Surprise, surprise." Mom laughed as did the woman. "Mom these are Caleb and Callie." This woman, who dressed in clothes I didn't see woman her age in, was our grandmother. "Don't tell me." Mom nodded with a smile. "Never thought I'd see the day when you had kids." She laughed as did Mom.

"My trouble makers." I scowled. I wasn't _that_ much trouble. "Clay get out here!" The woman shouted. A man came from inside one of the garages. He was wearing a cut too, in the front I spotted the words 'Redwood Original' on one side and 'President First 9' on the other.

Who were these people?

"Jazzy." He smiled as he hugged Mom. She hugged him back and kissed him on the cheek. "Dad these are Caleb and Callie."

Jesus how many times would she keep saying that. I shifted to one side, crossing my arms over my chest. I was tired and hungry. She wasn't speeding anything along.

"So these are the ones you told me 'bout." Clay said smiling. "You knew?" Our grandmother said with a scowl.

"Jazzy wanted to surprise you." Clay laughed as he hugged his wife. She smiled and kissed him. I looked away not wanting to see people exchange affection. "Well we're off to our house. Here's the address in case you want to come by." She handed Clay a piece of paper. He took it and glanced at the words.

"Take Jax with you. Don't want you anywhere alone." Clay demanded and Mom nodded.

"I know. I will. Not like he'll let me go anywhere." She said and ushered us away. Caleb walked beside me as we followed Mom back to the car. It was strange. We met all these people who Mom already knew. We met our grandparents. Charming was going to be hard to adjust to. "Jax your comin' with us." Mom told him and he nodded, going to a motorcycle. Were these people in a biker club?

We drove off, Jax following behind us on his bike. I glanced out the window again.

Things were going to be very different.

I sure hoped I was ready.


	2. Chapter 2: Home Sweet Home

I'm happy that some of you think this story is interesting. Please let me know what you think about this chapter.

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Chapter Two: Home sweet home...

Our home was fucking beautiful. Better than our old one. The outside had a porch that was painted white. The exterior color was a light blue color, the door a dark wood. The roof was solid white and the windows the normal square shape. I was amazed that Mom found such a place so quick. When we entered the house, it was already furnished. To the left was the living room.

There was a set of matching couches on a shiny red oak flooring. The middle table was black, standing out of all the items inside. The walls were painted a bright blue. To the right was the kitchen. The kitchen was white except for the cabinets and floor. White counter top in the middle, white sink, white stove and fridge. Connected to the kitchen was the dinning room table fit enough for a big family.

"Go check out the rooms." I was the first up the stairs. "Hey no fair!" Caleb was right behind me. The first room I found would be mine.

The hall was wide, two doors on either side and a bathroom all the way down. I turned and opened the first door. "Mine!" I called and walked in. The walls were painted a blue green color. The bed was huge and lay in the middle. On one side was a dresser positioned just under the window. On one side of the bed was a small black nightstand and a lamp. The walk in closet was big, good enough for lots of clothes. I had a simple black circular rug half way under the bed.

Even the bed was made. I tossed myself onto the bed, the comforter soft. I could have fallen asleep right then, only Mom was calling for us. I groaned, reluctantly getting off the bed.

I walked out of the room, shutting it behind me. Caleb was already at the steps, slowly going down.

"What do you think?" I asked him and he gave me the look I had given him before.

"Ain't that obvious." I smacked him in the arm, again.

"Its awesome. My room has everything I wanted. Better than our old room." He spoke with a happy surprised tone.

I smiled. "Mine too. Weird though. How did Mom get all the money. Do you think she planned to move here already?" If Mom planned this then she was just waiting for the perfect time to move.

"What do you think?" He laughed, "Not like she just bought everything now. You ask the most obvious questions..." I glared at him and he shut up. I smirked. He was so easy to quiet. Mom was in the kitchen, chatting away to...Jax, Opie, and our grandmother. When they got there, I had no clue.

Jax was the one who spotted us. "How're the rooms?" He asked and I kept quiet. I refused to talk to him or any of them. Caleb didn't seem to mind talking though, "Awesome." He smiled, "I was just layin' on the bed."

I laughed at that, "Me too."

"Caleb I got some boxes still outside. Help Jax with them." Mom told Calen who groaned but went to do as she said. Jax laughed, "Come on kid. Your Mom likes to boss people around." Mom smacked Jax upside the head. I laughed again, that was so me and Caleb. Chibs and Opie walked with Jax, going to help with the boxes.

"Callie," I turned my attention to Mom. "I need you to try here okay?" I bit my lip and sighed.

"Listen sweetheart," I was surprised by the sudden interest of my grandmother. I narrowed my eyes at her. I really didn't want to talk to anyone but Mom or Caleb. "You're part of this family. You're safe here."

I scoffed again, "What family might that be?" The questions wasn't a real question more like a sentence to show my annoyance. She shook her head and turned to Mom.

"You didn't tell them?" Mom shook her head. "Callie you're a part of SAMCRO." I was confused, what the hell was SAMCRO?

"SAMCRO is the 'biker' club here in Charming. All the men who wear the Sons Of Anarchy cut are apart of SAMCRO. They are family and family protect each other. Do you understand?" I debated on nodding yes for her to leave me alone or no to get a better understanding. Slowly I nodded. I got a bit of it just not a whole lot.

Caleb and the others came inside the house, each of them with a box. "Thats the last of 'em." Jax told Mom. Caleb was holding his own box and he marched up the stairs, going to unpack whatever he decided to take. I walked to them men, looking at each of the boxes to find my name. Chibs was holding my box.

"Um..." I didn't know how to tell him to give me the box. Jax started laughing as he watched us both. "Chibs she wants the box." The man laughed and handed me the box. I huffed and turned on him, walking upstairs. I flipped open the top and peered inside, making sure I had grabbed the bottle.

I had a secret, like most teenagers did but mine wasn't normal. I rushed to my bedroom, closing the door behind me and locking the door. I dropped the box on the floor, grabbing the bottle of Vodka inside. Yes, I drink. I hid the bottle behind my headboard on the floor. I couldn't get any now, Mom would know. She couldn't. Yet I _needed_ some. It had been nearly a week since my last drink.

"No..." I whispered slowly breathing in and out. I couldn't. I would just have to wait. I pulled the rest of the stuff from the box. a picture of Mom, Caleb, and I. I put that on the nightstand. A stuffed teddy bear that my mother given me. Childish but I loved the teddy bear. I let it rest on the dresser. I pulled my laptop and tossed it gently on the bed. I plugged it in and let it charge under the bed.

I jumped on the fluffy bed, turning over onto my stomach. I pulled the comforter on the bed off and wrapped it around me. My head still hurt. I was tired. I closed my eyes and let sleep take over...


	3. Chapter 3: Dinner Trouble

More reviews please! Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Warning: bit of underage drinking.

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Chapter Three: Dinner Trouble

I was sleeping so good. That is until I felt myself being shook awake. "Go away." I muttered shrugging the hand on me off. Caleb groaned. "Come on Callie. We're having dinner here with Jax and Clay and Gemma." My head went up real quick. Its like I wanted everything that happened to be a dream.

"Gemma?" He ssighed and pulled the covers off me. "Yeah, our grandmother. Mom's mom. You know how it goes." I glared at his pointless talk that made me sound like I was stupid. "How the hell did you get into my room?" I asked sitting up.

Caleb backed away for a second. I narrowed my eyes at him moving my feet to the edge of the bed. "Oh you know the drill..." I crossed my arms over my chest. "Get something to pick the lock..." I growled annoyed at him and jumped off my bed. Caleb was already out the room, his feet pounding against the floor as I chased behind him.

"Caleb I'm gonna hurt you!" He laughed ignoring my threat. Sometimes it was empty. Other times I really did something. He jumped the last three steps, using the railing to quickly turn. I smirked and jumped over the railing. He wasnt expecting that.

I landed on his back. We both fell to the floor with a loud thud, causing Mom and the other adults to rush to us. At the sight of us, Jax cracked up. He was laughing when he saw me trying to strangle my brother. Mom sighed shaking her head with a smile on his face. I felt an arm go around my waist and haul me off Caleb.

It was Clay.

Damn he was strong. He dropped me on my feet beside Jax and Mom. "Don't want you killing him just yet." Clay said with a smirk. I smiled looking at Caleb who was laughing on the floor. "You just tell me when and I'll be ready." Caleb slowly stood, groaning when his back hurt.

"Stupid ass." I muttered heading for the dinning room. The dinning table was filled with food. A feast. My stomach growled. I sat in one of the vacant chairs and began grabbing food to pour onto my plate. The others did the same, passing bowls around. I sat between Clay and Jax while Caleb sat across from me, Mom and Gemma beside him.

I dug into the food quickly, trying to fill my starved self. The adults talked to each other, all about how Mom was doing before she came. I kept quiet. I hoped she wouldn't spill anything to them about the real reason we came. I wanted no one else to know. That was my issue. Mine alone.

"So Callie," Gemma spoke to me after chewing her salad. I glanced at her. "What year will you be starting?" I glowered that she had asked me when she could have asked Caleb. We were the same age and grade.

"Sophomore." I replied taking another bite of food.

"You excited about starting a new school?" She asked. I huffed getting fed up with all the questions. I couldn't very well just tell her off. She was family. "No." I replied shoving my plate away. "I'm done." I told Mom about to get up. Mom looked me surprised and annoyed. "What's the matter with you?"

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry." I pushed my chair back and walked away. "Callie." Mom called. "Callie get your ass over here!" Mom seethed and I knew she was angry at me. I just didn't care anymore. I didn't know what was really wrong with me.

I rushed to my room, taking two steps at a time. I slammed my door shut and locked it. I didn't want anyone to come in. I just wanted to be alone. Alone and think. Someone tapped on my door. "Cassie open up." Mom said and I ignored her.

"Cassie I mean it! Now." She banged once on the door, jiggling the handle. I could see shadows from under the door. Mom wasn't the only one there. "Callie open up. Its me Gemma." I bit my lip, debating whether I should. I really didn't want to but I wanted to reach out to someone.

"Only Gemma." I told them. I saw shadows disappearing. I calmly opened the door and Gemma stepped inside. She took a quick look around. I kept the light off but the bright color of the wall was easy to see in the dark.

She sat on my bed and I turned on the lamp. I stood next to the door, one arm across my chest holding onto my other one. "Your mother told me what happened."

I clenched my teeth together. "She's worried about you." I shrugged. "She said you used to be talking. Now you rarely do."

"I really don't want to talk about this." Gemma got up from the bed. "I won't press this for now. Jazzy wants help for you and we're going to help." She told me leaving my room. I slammed the door on her, locking it once again. Fuck all those people.

I laid in my bed and closed my eyes, tears falling. That man ruined me.

My eyes snapped open to what felt was a minute later. I glanced at the clock. _12:22 am_. I reached from behind my bed and pulled out the bottle. I was in desperate need of one sip. I rolled off the bed, sitting at the edge. I opened the bottle and took my first large gulp in a week.

Vodka was strong. The alcohol burning the back of my throat. I shook my head at first but took another swing. My thoughts ran. The man who pulled me had been old and smelled of beer.

Another swing.

He whispered in my ear what a pretty girl I was after putting his hand over my mouth. He dragged into the nearest alley.

Two more swings.

He pushed me to the floor, got on top me and kissed me. He stole so much from me. He pulled off my pants, doing the same with his. He then forced himself into me, his hand over my head muffling the scream. I was in so much pain, he had been my first. He made me bleed so much. I could still hear his heavy breathing as he moved back and forth. He didn't care about me, just touched me and violated me until he finally finished.

Another few swings. The Vodka didn't taste so strong anymore. I got accustomed to the taste with the first couple gulps. I laughed when I thought how Mom would react of she knew I was drinking. She would freak so bad. I took my last two big gulps and closed the bottle. That would have to last until I could find someone to buy me one.

I wanted to feel numb. I didn't want to think or talk. Just numbness. You can't feel pain when your numb.

I curled into a ball. My head swimming until I finally blacked out.


	4. Chapter 4: HalfSack

I'm happy so many people reviewed. Enjoy this chapter. Tell me what you think.

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Chapter 4: Half-Sack

My eyes slowly opened, the light in the room giving me a headache. I groaned loudly as my heart pounded harshly. I should have been used to the headaches. I glanced at the clock, _7:30 am_. I was always an early bird.

Yawning, I got out of bed rubbing the sleep from my eyes. There wasn't any light coming from under the door so that meant I was the only one awake. I walked out of my room, shutting the door quietly behind me. My feet padded against the wood as I went downstairs. I was hungry and thirsty. Very thirsty. The kitchen was spot less but I knew Mom had leftovers. We always did. My stomach growled as I opened the 'fridge. There on the top shelf was a few containers of food. My mouth watered and my stomach growled again.

Grabbing the two containers, I poured some onto a plate and put it in the microwave. The food cooked quietly and I was glad. I didn't want to have a talk with Mom about my behavior. I got me a cup of tap water and drowned it down, getting another cup.

While I waited, my mind drifted to the dinner. I really didn't want to snap, I just felt like being alone and Mom wasn't letting me. She even had the nerve to tell Gemma what happened to me. I knew that all she wanted was to help me but she couldn't understand I didn't want help. I just wanted to forget it ever happened.

The microwave tinged low and I grabbed my plate, a spoon, and my cup of water heading to the living room. It was still dark upstairs. I set the plate on the coffee table and let myself fall to the floor. I scooted until I was in a good position and took my first bite of the food. Mom's cooking was always good. The remote was on the table so I could easily turn on the TV and flip through the channels while stuffing my face.

Those were the moments I enjoyed. The peace and quiet. No other person in the room to make things feel awkward. No need to talk. Just me and my silence.

I finished eating rather quick but I wasn't in the mood to eat again. I was satisfied. I sat up on the couch, folding my legs under me. I didn't know what I was really watching, I kept flipping the channel halfway through a show.

A door slammed causing me to jump startled. My head snapped to the stairs as I waited for someone to come down.

No one came.

I turned my attention back to the TV and leaned back against the couch. I was thinking about taking another drink, just because, but I knew if I did so then I couldn't stop right away. I would need to take a few so I would be satisfied.

By the time I knew it, the clock on the TV guide read _8:49 am_. Surely Mom was awake by now. She was an earlier bird than me. I climbed off the back of the couch and made my way upstairs. There was a light in Caleb's room. He was awake. I opened his door and walked in.

Caleb was just on his bed, reading one of his many books listening to music. When I slammed the door shut he nearly flew off the bed, flinging the book at me. I dodged just in time, the book grazing my skin. I laughed loudly, rubbing where I was hit.

He pulled out the buds, glaring at me as he spoke, "What the fuck is your problem?" He was angry that he got scared.

I chuckled, standing by the door still. "Where's Mom?" He shrugged his shoulders, reaching behind him and pulling out another book. "Are you even gonna finish the one you threw at me?" He shook his head, his face buried in the book.

I rolled my eyes, "Leftovers on the counter if-." He was off the bed in seconds, pushing me out of the way. I could hear his feet pound against the floor and I chuckled.

"No need to run. Not like its goin' anywhere." I yelled as I followed him, taking my time. "Shut up." Was his comeback. I passed Mom's room on the way and noticed she wasn't inside. Where did she go?

"Caleb Mom's gone..." I trailed off when I spotted him hunched over the food, eating like he never ate before. He had two to three spoonfuls of food in his mouth.

"Jesus man, chew." I told him. He opened his mouth and I got a good look of mashed food. I smacked him in the head as I passed him, going to the sink. "Stop hitting me..." He muttered as soon as he could talk.

I was amazed at how much he could eat. He never seemed to gain a lot of weight. "I will once you start acting civilized." I let the water from the sink run and gave him a cup of water. He nodded to me in thanks seeing as his mouth was stuffed.

"Where are the boxes of clothes?" He pointed to the living room where I spotted a few boxes behind the couch. Why hadn't I seen them? I went to the boxes, looking for the one with my name on it. I found it and picked it up going up the stairs.

"Gonna take a shower." His face scrunched up, "Really didn't need to know that."

"Lucky I ain't got shit to throw at you." Caleb laughed, spitting food out in the process. I rolled my eyes and headed to my room. I opened my door and dropped the box on my bed. I pulled out a white blouse, bra bra and panties, and a pair of blue jean shorts. California was hot compared to Chicago.

I went to the bathroom and dropped my clothes on the edge of the sink. I locked the door to make sure no one was able to get in. I turned on the shower, adjusting the temperature, and pulled the shower curtain to keep from wetting the floor. Once I undressed, I got in.

The warm water felt so good on my skin. I probably should had used cooler water but I didn't. The water hit the stress knots along my neck and I groaned. Why was I that stressed? I took my time showering, I was in no hurry. My hair was tangled so I took longer to wash out my hair. I laid my head against the wall, letting the water wash over me.

I wanted a drink. In the shower I could drink without worry but I didn't know if I could get out and look okay after. I was so screwed up, thinking of drinking while showering. If Mom knew...chills when up my spine. She'd lecture me so much not to mention punish me.

20 minutes later I was out and dressed, my hair dripping. I didn't feel like drying it. My feet padded silently as I want to the living room. James was laid out on the couch, flipping through the channels. "Have you been there the whole time?" He jumped, for the second time that day, at the sound of my voice.

"Jesus Callie your as sneaky as a damn cat." I smirked while he glared. "And yeah, I have."

I sat on the arm of the couch leaning back as I watched Caleb flip restless. The phone rang and I nearly fell off the couch startled. Caleb reached over the other end of the couch and picked up the phone.

"Hello? Hey Ma," I grabbed the remote out of Caleb's hand. "Yeah she here with me." He glared at me as I changed the channel. "Aw Ma." He whined into the phone as he slapped my hand making me drop the remote. I glared at him, grabbing the phone from the floor. "Okay...I'll tell her...yeah Ma. Love ya too." He hung up and snatched the remote from me.

"Ma wants us to be ready. Said she was sending someone to come get us to take us to her so we can all go get food." I frowned, didn't she think we could feed ourselves? "Well not like I'm complaining." He said getting off the couch and running upstairs.

"Of course not Mr. I-can-eat-an-elephant!" I yelled after him, walking up slowly to my room. "Shut it!" He hissed as he came running out, shoes in hand. I rolled my eyes. I had on short shorts so I had to change if we were going to leave. I put on a longer pair of capri jeans and grabbed my sandals.

The door bell rang as I was coming down. Caleb opened the door, again without checking. A man with reddish hair and blue eyes stood at the door with Chibs. "Aye kids."

"Hello Chibs," Caleb replied. He smiled, happy one of us addressed him. "Your mum asked me to pick you up." He ushered us out, closing the door behind me. He walked to a van and I stilled. "That?"

Chibs looked at me with a confused look. "I...I..um..."

"Just get in Callie." Caleb hissed, sliding open the van door and jumping in. I sighed. This was not happening. Chibs went to the driver side. "Prospect in the back." The man sighed as he was going in the passenger. He got out and jumped in beside Caleb.

"Girls get front." Chibs told us. I smiled getting in the van. I huddled close to the window. I wasn't sure how I felt. I glanced at our house as he drove away. Chibs glanced at me. "You okay?" I nodded looking him in the eye. "Peachy." He laughed, catching a bit of the sarcasm. He drove off, the only talking coming from Caleb and Prospect.

"What do they call you?" Caleb asked. "Half-sack or Prospect." He asnwered. I scrunched up my nose.

"Half-sack?" Caleb sounded confused. Idiot.

"Yeah 'cause I only have one b-."

"Hey there's a lady in the car!" Chibs shouted titling a bit to hit Prospect over the head. I was laughing in my seat into my hands. God how did Mom every know these people?


	5. Chapter 5: Help

So happy for all my reviews! Second chapter today. Enjoy. Need to know what you all think.

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Chapter 5: Help

Chibs drove us back to the 'Teller-Morrow' shop. Mom was there, chatting to Jax who was fixing a car. She was talking with a serious face to him, him replying with the same one. I swear they could have been twins.

"Jax I'm serious somethings going on-." She stopped herself halfway through when Jax raised a hand and pointed to us walking over to her. Mom put on a smile when she saw us, looked forced to me but I didn't press the issue.

"Ready to go eat?" She asked moving from Jax. Caleb was nodded his head and I rolled my eyes with a slight smile. "All he thinks 'bout is food." I didn't realize I said that out loud until I felt Caleb punch me lightly in the arm.

"Oh did I say that out loud?" I asked as innocently as I could. Laughter erupted and I smiled sheepishly. Caleb drapped his arm around my shoulder, putting all his weight on me. He looked so small but damn he was_ heavy_!

"Get off fat ass!" He faked hurt, a smile on his face. I rolled my eyes, unable to keep the smile from appearing on my face. Mom was laughing too, "Come on kids."

I groaned, "Ma I ate." She stopped to stare at me. I didn't want to eat again nor did I want to be stuck with them while they ate. That was just weird. "Well I can't just leave you while we eat." I was pleading with my eyes for her to find some other option. I really didn't want to go.

"Hey Ma..." Mom walked to an open door where I saw Gemma standing near. They talked quietly to each other.

Caleb rolled his eyes beside me. "What? I didn't do anything." I didn't think I did anything.

He muttered under his breath, acting like I couldn't hear but I did, "Spoiled." I narrowed my eyes at him. I was not spoiled. "I am not!" He backed from me that second. "That's what you think." He said louder. I glared harder but he was saved by Mom who approached us.

"Callie you'll be staying with Gemma for a bit." I slowly nodded my head okay. Mom gave me a hug and walked to her car with Caleb who looked over his shoulder at me and I glared. Gemma was at my side and I jumped at how quietly she walked to me. Her hand squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. Did she know I was uncomfortable with them all?

"Behave Callie." Mom said as she got into her car. "Don't worry 'bout her Jazzy." Gemma reassured seeing as I wasn't going to reply. I held in my suspicious look. What did she mean don't worry 'bout me?

Gemma guided me into the small...office? She sat down at her seat, papers all around. I leaned against the wall not sure what to do. "So..." I started. I was going to have to eventually get used to being around her. She was my grandmother, couldn't just ignore her all my life. "What do you do here?" Gemma looked up at me. "I do the paper work of the shop." I nodded my head slowly not really paying attention although I did ask the question. The phone rang, Gemma answering. I hummed to myself thinking maybe going with Mom was better. She was talking while writing something down on a piece of paper.

I sighed to myself, bored out of my mind. "Callie can you do something for me?" I moved off the wall towards her. Once in reach she handed me the paper. "Give this to Jax please." I nodded taking the paper. I walked out, looking around for Jax. The last place I saw him was working on a car. I grumbled, he wasn't there.

I headed to that spot anyway. He had to be around somewhere. Chibs was the only person around that I dared to talk to. He was surrounded by Half-sack and a few others. The creepy guy was looking over at me as I walked, he pointed to me after I was close enough. "Who's this?" I bit my lip as I went closer to Chibs.

I was trying to not scream. The man scared me, chills going up my spine. "D-Do you know w-where I can find Jax?" I beat myself up for stuttering like an idiot. Chibs turned to me. "He's in the clubhouse lass." I blinked at him, the sign that meant I was confused.

The other men laughed and I flushed looking away. "Aye I'll take you." He guided me to the door of the other building beside the shop. Duh, obviously that was the clubhouse, the building being the other one there. There were bikes lined up outside the front. "Do you want me to get 'im?" I shook my head.

"I'll be other there." I nodded and watched as he walked away.

As soon as I stepped inside I was hit with a smell of smoke, making me cough a bit, an unruly stench and then that one smell I knew. Liquor. I gulped trying to keep the thoughts away. On the wall to my right were coats hanging. To my left I could see a stripped pole. I frowned. Seriously? The couches were black and white patterned. There was even a pool table. Clubhouse for real.

There were a few men sitting at the bar. I gulped, watching some of them drink. Damn them. I walked slowly not wanting to alarm anyone.

"Uh excuse me?" The few people there stopped half way through a drink.

"Aren't you a little lost kid?" I was startled at his voice. Raspy and harsh. He was sitting in the stool looking at me. "No I'm looking for Jax-."

"Callie what's wrong?" I jumped about five feet into the air and whirled around. My heart was racing. I was glaring hard at him, "Goddamn you!" I huffed out without thinking. Laughter from the bar and a frown from Jax calmed me down.

"Gemma told me to give this to you." I handed him the now crumpled paper in my hand. He looked over. "Thanks kid." He walked back out, paper in his hand. I raised my brow. That was it. I began to walk out, the rough man's voice stopping me.

"You remind me of someone." I turned back around. He stood with a beer in his hands. His cut had the same 'Sons Of Anarchy' on the front and 'sons of mayhem' underneath. I inched back, he was huge and that frightened me. "I'm gonna go now." I muttered and turned my back to him, quickly walking out.

Was that weird or what?

I made my way back to Gemma's office. She was nearly done with the paper stack she had. "Thought I lost you," She joked as soon as she saw me.

"Do I look like my mother?" She nodded with a smile. "Very."

I didn't know if that was good or bad.

"Gemma can I ask you something?" Her movements ceased and she looked up at me, her hands resting flat on the table. She nodded to me, "Anything."

I gulped licking my bottom lip. "My best friend is having trouble controlling this urge of hers and I don't know how to help her anymore. I've tried to her to stop but she won't." I was hoping she wouldn't catch on. The last thing I needed was another person on my case suspecting something.

"All you can do is be her friend until she decides she really wants to stop." I nodded understanding.

"What urge is she having?" I bit the inside of my cheek.

"She told me she's been drinking. I'm afraid for her."

I hoped to God she couldn't see through the lie.


	6. Chapter 6

Couldn't come up with chapter name.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter and review please.

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Chapter 6

Gemma looked at me, her eyes gazing deeply into mine. I froze. Something told me she wasn't stupid, not one bit. "How old is she?"

"16." I answered quickly and I kicked myself right after. She raised her brow at me, "Is there something you want to tell me Callie?" The worry in her tone made me scoff.

"Like you actually want to help me." I kicked myself when I muttered that instead of just thinking it. She stood from her seat slowly making sure to keep eye contact with me. "Never mind. Forget I said anything." I ushered out of the room pretty fast, ignoring her shouts for me to come back. I was feeling pain again, the type of pain that couldn't be seen by anyone else.

"Callie!" Her last shout caught the attention of many people. My jaw clenched, I didn't want anyone else to know about my business. I didn't even know why I bothered to bring anything up. They couldn't help me. I walked off lowering my gaze to the ground, my hair making a small curtain for me. If I walked like that, I would be left alone.

"Callie stop!" It was Clay who yelled after me. I shook my head and broke into a run.

I couldn't stay with them. I was confused. I felt all alone. I turned the corner out of the shop area and ran down the sidewalk. I ran and ran without looking behind me. The wind hit my face, filling my lungs with cool air, as I tried to keep from breaking down. I needed a drink. Drinking kept the pain away. Drinking made all the emotions go away.

I ran until I couldn't. I didn't know where I was being new to Charming and all. There were a few stores around. I decided to have a look, not wanting to be found so quickly. I didn't want to have a talk with any of them. Gemma obviously knew my secret because I reached out. I headed to a clothing store, walking past a Cigar Shop. There were a few men inside who caught my attention. All three were white and one talked with aggression to the other. I squinted my eyes, spotting a tattoo below his neck.

Something told me they were trouble like all the others in that town. Suddenly the shortest man their caught me looking in. He pointed to me and I moved away quickly not wanting to be caught eavesdropping. I was almost in the store when the familiar rumble of motorcycles. I groaned loudly and walked slower down the sidewalk, trying to get a distance between me and whoever came to get me.

"Kid you better stop." Came a raspy voice. I stilled, tensing up. I whirled around, on the bike was that man from the clubhouse. "I got no patience so you hop on and lets go." I raised my brow at him, staying where I was. I was through with orders. His eyes got darker.

"Now!" He bellowed and I marched over to him, he was getting angry and when men got angry they did things. He handed me a helmet, waiting until I put it on and settled myself behind him. I was timid about siting behind him, not sure how that would work. "Hold onto me or you'll fall." He ordered, gripping the handles tighter. I timidly wrapped my arms around him, feeling very awkward and uncomfortable at the contact.

He easily turned the book, riding off fast. I gripped tighter, fear rushing through me. That was my first ride and I didn't like it. I caught the look of the men that came outside the shop, look of confusion and something else I couldn't place. "What do they call you?" I asked as he zoomed past everything. We made it back to the shop in less than a few minutes. I didn't even get that far.

"Happy." He said as I got off. I handed him the helmet.

"Happy?" I questioned. He gave me a sideways glance and I backed off. "You're far from it." I muttered knowing he could hear me. His eyes got darker but I didn't flinch.

"Your lucky your a kid and a girl." He told me getting off the bike with a smoke in between his fingers. He walked away from me as if saying we were done talking. I glared at his retreating back. Well, he wasn't one to be messed with.

"Callie!" I gulped, turning to the direction of the yell. Mom was there beside Gemma and Clay. Caleb was leaning against the door shaking his head. Like he was perfect. I walked to Mom, keeping my head low. I didn't want to see the disappointed or anger in her eyes.

"Callie what's wrong with you?" She asked pulling me into the office, pushing Caleb out. Gemma followed suit, Clay blocking the door.

"Nothing," I muttered glaring hard at the floor.

"Callie I want real answers. I know something's wrong. You haven't been the same since..." She trailed off, not wanting to dig that day back up. I was irritated.

"Stop bringing that back up. I don't act the way I do because of that!" I hissed out, earning a glare and scolding from all three adults.

"Hey!" Clay started, pointing a finger at me, "You respect your mother!"

"Don't take that tone with me." Mom warned.

"Don't yell at your mother Callie." Gemma told me with a serious tone. I huffed frustrated.

"Then don't gang up on me like this. You all can't seem to understand." I whispered blinking away tears of frustration.

"Then talk to us-." Mom tried only to be interrupted by me. I threw my hands up.

"See! That's what I'm talking about." My breathing was going faster. "Can't you see that I don't wanna talk to anyone!" I nearly broke down but I inhaled and slowly let it out. My head was hurting again. "I'm fine just the way I am. I don't want to talk." My vision was blurred by tears. I wiped my face. I was crying over something so stupid.

Mom wrapped her arms around me, holding me close. I cried into her chest, my shoulders shaking. Gemma held me too, giving me an extra sense of safety. "Sweetie is there anything you'd like to say, now would be the time." Gemma whispered. I tensed up. She was going to press the issue.

Still I couldn't help but lie to them, "No. There's nothing."

"Are you sure?" She pressed. Mom let me go, looking me in the eye. "Well...can we go home?" Mom nodded to me with a smile.

"Jazzy I'll swing by your house. We need to talk." I tensed again, relaxing when Mom gave me her worried look. I smiled, trying to throw her off. "Okay." Mom replied, taking me by the shoulder and leading me out. Clay was giving me a wary look glancing at Gemma then me.

God she was going to give me away.

I had to get rid of that bottle.

Somehow.


	7. Chapter 7: Planning

Thanks to all my reviewers. Glad to see a lot of people enjoy this story. Enjoy and Review please.

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Chapter 7: Planning

Mom drove us home, Caleb grumbling in his seat because he wanted to stay longer and take a look at the work the guys did. Prospect would have shown him around. He was glaring at me the whole ride, blaming me for the reason he wasn't able to do what he wanted. I did my best to ignore him knowing I was to blame. Mom liked to keep us together, knowing we looked out for one another. We did many things together really: sports, school, play. My group of old friends and his group had at least one person who knew the other. It was strange, everywhere we went we had a connection.

"Ma I'm gonna be bored," He complained tapping his finger on the window. He was pretty much pouting in the corner. Mom ignored him, all the years of experience made her very good at that. "This is all your fault." He hissed at me and I glared back, the same glare on both our faces.

"Yea, yea, yea." I waved him off looking out the window tapping my fingers to a beat in my head from a song. Mom pulled up in front of our house. I got out fast, needing time to figure out what I was going to do. Gemma was going to get me killed if she went through with talking to Mom.

Mom opened the door, walking in first. Caleb pushed me, walking to the living room and dropping down on the couch flipping on the TV. I glared willing to let go of his attitude with me. Mom headed to the kitchen, I could hear water running. I rushed upstairs, two at a time. Gemma would be there soon.

I pushed open my bedroom door, locking it behind me. I flicked on the lights. Even with all the stuff in there, the room didn't feel like mine yet. I only had a few things that reminded me of home. I jumped on the bed, reaching for the bottle behind it. I licked my lips, watching the liquor swish side to side when I grabbed it. I could easily open it and take a drink but if I started, I wouldn't stop.

I got off the bed, standing in the middle of my room. I was faced with two huge dilemmas.

One, how could I get rid of a quarter a bottle of Vodka and the bottle. Two, where could I get another bottle. The joys of drinking secretly...

A soft knock on my door startled me. The bottle slipped in my hand, heading for the floor. I grabbed the top

between my fingers, the bottom giving a small thud against the floor. I sighed to myself. "Callie you okay?"

I dropped the bottle into one of the open boxes. Mom would try to come in and if she found the door closed then I would surely be found it. I went to the door, twisting the small knob in the middle of handle. "Yeah, I'm fine. Dropped my I-Pod." I mentally hit myself. If she came in and found no I-Pod around and me standing near the door, more suspicion.

The knob jiggled and I quickly went to where I had my I-Pod hidden. I opened the drawer grabbing the device just as Mom came in. I dropped it inside the drawer, acting as if I just picked it up. "I got you some water. Know your voice is dry."

"Thanks..." She was right. I didn't notice until she said something but I was sounded hoarse. I grabbed the cup, taking one sip. "Gemma's coming in a about 10 minutes. When she comes I want you downstairs." She walked out of my room, about to close the door, when she turned to me with a smile.

"I love you Callie." The way she said it made me break a little. She was worried about me so much and here I was just lying to her face. What kind of a daughter was I? She trusted me so much and there I was just thrusting that trust back in her face.

"Love ya too Ma," She closed the door and I fell onto my bed. I placed the cup on the nightstand and dropped my face into my hands, shaking my head.

God I was so screwed up.

I glanced at the box. I got up slowly making my way to the box. I took out the bottle that now seemed to weigh so much. I felt guilty again. A feeling I loathe as much as pain. After that man hurt me I was filled with guilt. If I had been more careful, not so much of a rebel, I wouldn't have had to change so much. I wouldn't have been hiding. The urge to numb myself was harder on me, my mind screaming me to throw the bottle away and spill my guts yet my body was telling me to go through with the plan.

I bit my cheek, going through plans in my head. If I wanted to keep the liquior then I would have to hide it in something else. If I wanted to rid the bottle I would have to throw it in something and get rid of it fast. So I needed a bottle and trash.

I grabbed the cup off my nightstand, taking another sip when an idea hit me. I gulped the water down, placing the bottle in the box. I opened the door, poking my head out. "Ma?" I yelled.

"What?" She answered in the same loud tone. This was an everyday thing back in Chicago. "Do we got any big water bottles. I'm very thirsty but I don't wanna go up and down." I could hear her going through the cabinets, the doors slamming shut when she tapped them closed.

"On the table!" I grinned rushing to the kitchen. How many times have I got up and down the stairs already? I waked into the kitchen, Mom handing me the bottle while she talked on the phone. "I don't have a job yet..." I heard her say. I didn't get to hear more, rushing back upstairs and out of sight.

I went to my room first grabbing the bottle and walking to the bathroom, looking into the hall before I managed the walk. I locked the door behind me, my blood racing as I started doing what I knew I shouldn't have. I shook my head as I began to pour the water into the sink. I was getting mad at myself for what I was doing. Yet I didn't stop myself from emptying the bottle, didn't even try to stop as I uncapped the Vodka and emptied the liquor into the water bottle. I took a sip, the Vodka burning the back of my throat. I sighed at the feeling. I always felt a ting better.

I capped the bottle. I quickly left the bathroom, rushing to my room and locking the door. Now all I had to do was find a way to get rid of the bottle. I tossed it into my trash but took it out. Anyone could find it there. I saw a stack of paper on my desk. I walked to it, searching through it.

Junk. All old papers from the previous school year. Why I kept them I didn't know but I was glad I did. I stuffed the papers into the trash after tossing the bottle back inside. I grabbed the small trashbag, heading out of my room with my bottle in hand.

"Stupid junk..." I muttered walking past Mom. She chuckled, "What stupid junk?"

I sighed, putting on a sad face. "Old school work." Her smile faded and she walked to the door. I quickly dropped the bag in the kitchen garbage, putting my bottle into the 'fridge.

"Hey Mom." Mom said. I tensed up, Gemma was there.

She wasn't alone.

Jax was there too along with Clay.

Re-enforcements. I let out a breath of air. I had to be calm if my plan was to work.

"Callie I want to talk to you about your friend." I clenched my jaw.

Here we go.


	8. Chapter 8: Longest Talk

Review please. Enjoy. I'm happy so many enjoy this story. Need to know what everyone thinks about this chapter.

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Chapter 8: Longest Talk

Part 1

We all sat around the table, even Caleb who asked if he could join. He was raising his brows in my direction, if he didn't know what was going on I was keeping a true secret. Caleb, being my twin was my best friend. I told him what I wanted to and he swore to keep it a secret. We had that special bond that was deeper than a regular brother-sister relationship. He was my twin and I was his therefor we were almost the same. If I managed to keep what I was a secret, then I was in deep shit he didn't understand.

Mom sat on my left while Gemma on my right. Clay was sitting beside Caleb while Jax stood, leaning against the sink. He refused to sit for a reason unknown. It was quiet for a few minutes, all eyes on me seeing as I was the reason they all gathered. I was trying my hardest not to seem nervous. I mean, the Vodka was right there in the 'fridge. If someone found it and had some, they would know. I was tapping my nails against the table, waiting for someone to start talking because it sure as hell wouldn't be me.

"You told me that you friend was drinking," Gemma started and I nodded to her. "but that she wanted to stop." Again I nodded trying to act like I wasn't catching on. Oh I was and I was hating it. "Does this friend happen to be you?"

Here goes nothing.

I furrowed my brows and tried my best to sound appalled at what she was saying. "No!" I made sure to put a shriek to it. "Why would you think I'd be drinking?" I asked sounded angry.

Mom answered this one, "Callie I've seen the way you've been acting." I gave her a confused look. "All the hiding in your room, locking the door at night, the mood changes."

I looked away. Oh it was so true but partly because of my drinking. "Ma I'm not like that because you think I'm drinking. Its just..." They all kept quiet, letting me continue with my babble. "Its just I need space to be able to think. Sometimes at night all I can think is of what happened. I need time to myself and with all you people breathing down my neck, that can't happen." I snapped at the end on accident. I was just tired of having to explain everything.

"No need to get mad." Clay said, "We're just talking." It was more like a warning to keep calm. I took in a breathe and exhaled slowly.

"Callie," I looked at Mom who put an empty bottle of Tequila on the table. I kept myself cool. That was one of the many bottles from when we lived in Chicago. "I found this in one of the boxes." I frowned. That wasn't right. I never drank while on the trip. And my last bottle was Vodka not Tequila.

"Well it's not mine." I defended crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back. Mom sighed frustrated.

"Don't lie to me Callie-."

"I'm not lying!" I yelled. It's amazing how much I lied and yet the time I do tell the trust, nobody believes me. Mom got up from her seat, rubbing her temple. I scoffed, she was the frustrated one?

"Callie just tell us the truth-" Gemma tried and I snapped at her.

"I am telling the fucking truth!" I got up from my seat, the legs scraping against the floor. I looked almost like how Mom was, rubbing my temple and glaring at all the participants of the talk. Could I even call that a talk? Felt more like an attack on me. "Don't use that tone with me!" Gemma said in a loud tone. I glared at her. Who did she think she was? Sure she was my grandmother but I didn't even know her yet.

"I don't know who you people think you are-." I started but Clay interrupted me. "We're you're family-." I did the same to him. "Yeah as of one fucking day. You don't know shit about me!" Mom grabbed my arm, yanking me out of the kitchen. I was startled by the reaction. She held out her hand for whoever was coming to stop.

She was close to me, so when she talked it was in a whisper directed for me. "You respect them. You hear me? They are you're family you show them respect." A hand went on Mom's shoulder, pulling her away from me. I glanced to see who pulled Mom to see Jax talking in hushed whispers to her. Looked so much like me and Caleb. I couldn't hear much, not like I wanted to. I went back to the kitchen leaning against the wall with a glare on my face.

I caught Caleb staring at me. He looked as if he were being torn. As if he wanted to say something but then kept himself shut. I glanced at him warily. What was wrong with him?

"We just want to help you Callie," Gemma told me, standing and putting her hands on my shoulders. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"I don't need or want help. There's nothing wrong with me." I reasoned, lowering my tone to normal. Gemma sighed. I wasn't going to tell them. I was going to keep drinking and they wouldn't stop me. I knew that sounded harsh but I didn't want to quit. I drank for reasons like that, when everything was out of control, a good drink calmed me down.

"Callie do you know who's bottle this is?" Clay asked holding up the bottle. I shook my head slowly. "Never seen that bottle before." Clay let out an irritated sound.

"Why don't you people believe me?" I shouted pushing from Gemma. I stood away from them all in my own little secluded part of the kitchen.

"Because we know you're not telling the whole truth-." I was not the one to interrupt this time but I sure wanted to. She was pointing the finger at me when she should have pointed the finger at another in this room.

"It's mine."

I was shocked too when he spoke, I never expecting him to actually go down the same path I was going. It was weird though, watching as all the attention that was on me quickly drift to him. I rose my brows to him, trying to figure out what we would get from drinking. He didn't have issues like some of us. He was normal compared to the family. Mom was shocked to death, her face twisted confused as she, too, was trying to figure him out.

"Why Caleb?

Part 2

I seen the way Mom stared at him, the anger mixed with hurt as she realized her baby boy was not as innocent as she thought. He was following me more and more unconsciously. "I..I don't know why I...I just do." He answered. The only reason he piped up was so he could find help. I could see the confusion in his eyes when Mom asked him that. He was lost and all he needed was a hand to guide him. I needed a kick, a push, a shove and more to get me out of my habit.

"Caleb do you have any bottles in your room?" He didn't reply to her. It was obvious he did by the silence. "We're going to go up and search." Mom grabbed Caleb's arm dragging his unwilling self upstairs followed by Gemma, Jax, and Clay who forced me up too. I didn't fight. He already proved to be stronger than me. Mom and Clay went into his room, "Search Callie's." She told Gemma and Jax. I glared at Mom's back as the two adults made their way into my room.

Gemma and Jax split sides, Jax taking the closet side while Gemma the dresser side. I waited by the door, watching and knowing they wouldn't find anything in my room. I was careful. I was prepared. They were careful about what they moved, making sure to put it back in the same spot. Eventually they checked near the bed. "What's this?" Jax asked pointing to the cup on the nightstand.

"Seriously? What does it look like." He glared at me telling me to cut out the attitude. "Cut the attitude." Gemma warned me. I hummed to myself waiting for them to finish. Jax was the first to give up, "Ma there's nothing here." Gemma nodded, putting my pillow back in place. She stood straight looking over at me.

I was bored leaning against the wall. "This is your last chance." Gemma told me.

"I don't have anything." Gemma sighed. "Okay. We believe you."

I didn't feel as happy as I thought I would. Just more guilt building. I was lying to them all and I couldn't help myself.

"Three fucking bottles?" Mom's scream made me jump from the wall, my heart racing from the scare. She was pissed. I gulped imagining if they found my bottle, how mad she would be. "She's so loud." Jax muttered walking towards the door. Gemma shook her head. After the sudden noise of glass shattering on the floor, all three of us left my room, opening the door to Caleb's. I was amazed at what I saw.

The room was a mess, compared to how it was before. The bed sheets were tangled, the drawers of the dresser opened wide as was the door to the closet. "If you want to quit, do that to the rest." Mom told Caleb pointing to the two bottles in Clay's hands and the floor where a busted beer bottle was. Caleb was torn once again. He wanted to quit but he wanted to drink.

Brother, we're so alike its scary.

Caleb took one of the beer bottles, his hand gripped tightly around the neck. He glanced into Mom's eyes then at Clay who was waiting for him to make a decision. Caleb titled his head to the door, catching my gaze. I saw a flicker of something pass his eyes. The same feeling of anger and then a need of something. He kept eye contact with me. He then dropped the bottle. Glass shattering all around them and flying all over the place. The liquor was all over the floor and he still kept eye contact as if the broken bottle was nothing. He was the real help looker. He didn't want to be a drinker.

I realized why he dropped the bottle, not only did he want to stop but he didn't want to become like me. He knew yet he couldn't out me because there was no proof.

Mom looked proud when he dropped the bottle, she was getting through to him. Caleb grabbed the other bottle, his gaze hardening on me as if saying 'I won't be you' again. He tossed the bottle to the floor and I flinched. That wasn't fair. Glass was all over the floor, along with beer and the need to drink was heavy again. He was making the guilt over flow in me and I didn't like that feeling.

"Caleb I'm very proud of you." I flinched again. She was going to be _very_ disappointed in me. "I'm sorry Ma." She hugged him.

"We're going to help you Caleb." He nodded in her embrace. "All of us." I figured she could tell I was unwilling. How could I be a hypocrite and tell him not to drink when I was clearly needing a drink. If he knew, would he tell?

"We need you to be honest with us though," Everyone let Mom have this one. They let her talk for them, Mother to Son. "No more hiding or lies. Understood?"

For a minute I felt invisible. All attention was on Caleb but when I backed away to leave, a hand when on my shoulder stopping me. "Yeah Ma. I understand." Mom ushered Clay, Gemma, and Jax out of Caleb's room talking to them all the way downstairs. Being alone with Caleb for the first time in all my life felt awkward. He was staring at the ground where the mess was and then glanced up. My eyes were on the floor. He had self control. He wasn't the one who needed the real help, I was. He didn't bother to hide his bottles like I did. Yet he went for help and I refused it.

"You need to tell them." He blurted out after a minute. "You're worse off than I am if you don't."

"I don't have anything to tell them." I replied locking my gaze with his.

"If I find _anything_ at all," He said stepping closer to me. It didn't help he was a bit taller than me. "I'm going to tell Ma. So either come clean or I'll do it for you." It was a threat. A real threat. I didn't do well with threats. I stepped up to him, Caleb having to take a step back before we were pressed way to close to each other. I was pissed but not at him. I was pissed with myself because I couldn't do what he did. I was a coward compared to him.

"Listen here _brother,_" I started, pushing him against the wall on the opposite end of the room. "you threaten me again and I'll fucking kick your ass." He stopped suddenly as if he wasn't scared anymore.

"Well _sis_," He retorted. "I'd like to see you try. I will tell them because I don't want to see anything happen to you." He moved away from me, leaving his own room with me inside. My shoulders fell and I would have broken down if not for the room not being mine, people downstairs along with my drink. He cared enough to threaten me. He cared enough to let himself get caught. I could have just followed in his footsteps and spilled my secret yet I didn't want to follow him. I wanted to have my own path not follow someone else.

Another realization hit me. Caleb didn't tell them because he didn't want to follow me. He told them expecting _me_ to follow him.

Well he was wrong. I wasn't going to follow.

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Good? Bad? Please review.


	9. Chapter 9: Bonding, sorta

Thanks for all the reviews. I'm glad most of you enjoy this story.

Enjoy this chapter

* * *

Chapter 9: Bonding, sorta

When Gemma and them left, Mom was sitting at the table talking to Caleb. I was told to either sit and listen or go and be quiet. I choose to leave, not wanting to hear her talk about quitting when I wasn't going to. I grabbed my water bottle from the 'fridge, feeling Caleb's eyes on my back as I retreated upstairs to my bedroom. I locked my door again, keeping the light off. I pulled out my laptop from the drawer on the nightstand. I plugged in my I-Pod to my laptop, going through my list of songs. I took a small drink, a slight burn and I sighed. I was about to switch on a song when someone knocked on my door.

"Callie Ma said to get your shoes, we're going on a tour around Charming." Caleb's tone was bored and low. I huffed re-capping the bottle and throwing it on the bed. I couldn't even get some peace and quiet.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." I replied grabbing my pack of tic-tacs from the drawer. I popped one in my mouth, bitting down immediately. I know my breath would smell like something and I was prepared. I left my room, Caleb following behind me. "I smell mint." He said as we walked down the stairs. "Tic-Tac." I replied. He held out his hand and I poured two in his hands. He threw them into his mouth, sucking instead of biting. I grabbed my sandals from the front door and slipped them on, following Mom as she left the house. The silence was weird.

I walked at Caleb's slow pace, "What she say?" I asked and received no answer. I frowned, why was he talking to me? He climbed into the passenger seat. I had no choice but to sit in the back, alone. i huddled in my seat frowning as Mom drove out. Caleb was quiet in his seat in front of me. It was weird how sad I was when he ignored me. My own twin. "We're heading to the shop and from there we'll walk around town." Mom told us in a happy tone. I couldn't muster a smile, I was feeling cheery.

Mom drove us there quickly, the world passing us very fast. About 5 minutes later, there we were, parking inside where the car wouldn't be in the way. Mom got out first. I dragged to get out. How would it feel walking around town with them two? I had an idea, horrible. I slammed the door shut, sighed to myself.

"What's wrong Jazzy?" Clay's loud voice startled me. These men and their loudness was going to give me a heart attack. Mom smiled looking at her dad. I felt sadness in me again. The word 'dad' wouldn't ever be used with me. My dad was a no show, hell Mom never even told me who it was but I knew she had a good reason. She didn't want to hurt us.

"Nothing. We're gonna be taking a walk around town. You know, to get used to it." Clay nodded to his daughter.

"Careful and have fun." He told us and we all gave some sort of answer. I just nodded not wanting to be verbal. Mom walked first, Caleb behind.

Once we walked out, it was just us. A small three person family. We walked down the sidewalk, viewing all the buildings around. When we reached the main street, there were more stores to choose from. We walked for a while, passing a diner on the way. "Ma what time is it?" I asked, my stomach rumbling low.

"Almost lunch." She answered and I smiled. Food soon. We passed that cigar shop again. I tensed when I saw that man inside. He caught me walking by, a sort of sick smile on his face. I looked away from him, his stare sending chills up my spine. We went inside the clothing store right beside the cigar shop. I was timid about entering, did I really want to look around or did I want to just explore? I spotted a girl walking towards us and behind her a trio of girls. I was in desperate need of friendship. I wanted to talk to someone else but I was unsure on how to make new friends. Mom entered the store with Caleb. I lingered outside. Go in or stay out?

The girl walking alone had short black hair, in her hands was a book. I raised my brow, bookworm? She was wearing black skinny jeans with a red blouse. She paid no attention around her, only when she looked up in case someone was in front of her. I wouldn't have paid much attention to her if not for the trio behind her. The one in the middle stood out more, her long blonde hair and green eyes. She wore a pink tank top with blue capri jeans. She walked ahead of her friends, bumping into the girl who was minding her own business. I shook my head, what did she do to them?

I usually stayed out of other people's business not wanting to have anything back fire in my face. That time felt different, the girl reading didn't do anything. She just stuttered a sorry and moved away from her, walking on. The blonde didn't seem to like her reaction. "Stupid freak." She said loud enough that I could hear. The black haired girl cast her eyes to the floor doing her best to walk fast. I didn't want to stay back any longer. I hated bullies.

"Hey!" I shouted stepping forward. I caught the black haired girl by the shoulders, whirling her around. She looked frightened, startled by contact. The blonde girl and her followers looked at me, surprised and angry. "Watch where you walk." I told her. The blonde haired girl walked to me, a smile on her face, her hips swaying more than they needed to.

"What you gonna do if I don't?" She asked though I know it was more of a rhetorical question. She looked me up and down and I raised a brow at her.

"I don't want to have to do anything to you." I told her stepping closer as she did so. She couldn't threaten me. I took no threats. She laughed at me.

"You can't do shit you weak ass bitch." I narrowed my eyes at her. I grabbed her by the shirt in a threatening manner. No one calls me a bitch.

"Try me." I warned, shoving her away. I turned my back on her, turning to the scared teen girl. She was trying to figure out what to do. She was as confused as me. I didn't know what I was doing standing up to her. Maybe I just couldn't handle seeing someone who wouldn't fight back. I could see her dark orbs flutter with fear. I gave her a weak smile, I still wasn't happy.

"Sorry for grabbing you-ah!" I yelped when I felt my hair being yanked. I turned halfway, glaring at the blonde girl who dared to touch me let alone pull my hair. She had a fist full of my hair on her hand and I laughed in her face. I reared my fist and then punched her write in the face. She screamed as she fell to the floor, blood dripping from her nose. Her friends surrounded her trying to help her up. I shook my head. "Next time don't go for the hair pulling you blonde bitch." I hissed at her, staying in my place. I wasn't going to go off on her because I was mad. I already did enough damage. She could press charges if she wanted.

"You broke my nose!" She whined. I rolled my eyes. I turned back to the girl who I yet to get a name from. She was surprised, her eyes on the girl on the floor. I tensed again when I saw the two men from inside the shop, the one with the tattoo and the shorter man staring at us. I was getting a bad vibe from them. Suddenly the door from the clothing store opened and Mom and Caleb exited. Mom looked horrified as she spotted the girl on the floor and me standing.

"Oh my God are you okay?" Mom looked at the girl who had dry blood on her upper lip. Mom glared at me and I shrunk away. Her glare was scarier than any I had ever seen. She turned away, embarrassed and stalked off, her friends right on her heel. Mom grabbed my arm, pulling me close.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed.

"She was being a bully and she pulled my hair." I replied. I didn't start the fight. I promised I wouldn't start fights anymore. Mom sighed, rubbing her temple for the hundredth time. She did that a lot nowadays.

"Let's go." I sighed. I turned to the girl who stood there frozen like a statue. "Sorry again. I didn't mean to do anything." She was smiling, actually smiling. "That's alright. I was getting sick of them anyway. I'm Melissa by the way." She held out her hand. I took it, the friendly gesture a good thing.

"Callie. Well I'll see ya around." She nodded to me and watched as we all walked off. I really wanted to talk to her, needed to make a friend or my whole summer would be boring and hell. Mom was scolding me all the way telling me that I try and not get into trouble. It was the same lecture as before when I got into trouble at school. I nodded while she talked, trying to see if that would get her to stop. After a while Mom sighed finally getting the point that I wasn't listening to her fully. My hand finally hurt, a late reaction to punching the blonde girl in the face.

Mom's phone rang and she answered, ushering us towards the car. "Oh right now?Okay...I'll be there in five." She hung up real quick. "Jax!" She yelled seeing as he was the closest one. Jax stopped mid walk and looked at Mom, turning his direction and walking to her, rag in hands.

"What's wrong?" He asked wiping his hands from the oil.

"I'm heading to the hospital, interview." So Mom was going to be working at a hospital? "Can you watch them for a few?" Jax nodded, putting his hand on each of our shoulders. She kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks Jax." Mom waved to us as she got into the car. "Watch Callie. She already got into a fight." I flushed, did she have to tell everyone everything? Jax laughed, patting me on the back as if saying good job. Mom frowned but she couldn't press the issue or she'd be late. I walked to Gemma's office but the door was closed. I groaned, Gemma wasn't there.

"She ain't there. Come on." He ushered us into the clubhouse. There were a few men there, including Chibs, Opie, Juice, and Prospect. I still couldn't handle being near so many men. I glanced at the pool table. I didn't know how to play. I would have liked to but I didn't know. Caleb flopped onto one of the two couches, groaning in boredom. I glanced at the bar. My drink was on my bed.

Jax's voice took over the silence, "Who did you get into a fight with Callie?" I broke my gaze from the bar to Jax who was surrounding the pool table with Chibs. I kept myself quiet not wanting to talk. Jax looked at me when I didn't answer. "You know sooner or later you're gonna have to talk to me. Maybe not 'bout this but something else." I glared at him, walking to the couch and sitting down.

Yeah I was being difficult but I didn't care. I didn't want to talk.

"Aye he's right." Chibs agreed, taking a shot. I glanced at the table. I wanted to play. Wanted to do something instead of just sitting. Jax caught me staring. "You wanna play?" I quickly shook my head.

"I'll teach ya come on." I reluctantly got up, slowly making my way over to him. "I still wanna know."

I sighed, "You're not gonna stop are you?" He grinned with a shake of his head. "Fine since you're gonna teach me to play but you go first."

He nodded. He handed me one of the sticks. "I wanna play too." Caleb pipped up jumping off the couch. "I got 'im." Chibs said motioning for Caleb to go to him. He was more than happy to oblige. Jax told me how to grip the pole, using my right hand to steady the tip while my other arm kept the pole raised. He kicked my feet into place and pushed my top half a bit over so I could have a good grip. For a minute I felt exposed, feeling like I was giving everyone a good look of my behind. I did my best to ignore how I was feeling, my mind going back to pool. I hit the middle of the white ball, watching as it went straight and hit a few balls that went into a domino effect, hitting the other colored balls.

"She's a pro." Jax laughed as a few balls went straight down into the sockets. I smiled feeling proud. Suddenly Caleb hit, a few of the balls going into place too. "Aye he is too." Chibs laughed along with Jax. I narrowed my eyes at Caleb, a grin on my face as I leaned on the pole. Caleb caught my stare, a smile slowly forming on his face when he realized what I was thinking.

"Me vs you?" I asked with smirk.

He laughed, "You're on."

So we played the game, one on one, attracting a a few people. He was solid and I was striped. He sunk in a few of his and I did so too, nearly a tie between us. He leaned over the table, hitting the white ball and scattering the rest. When I was going to play, Jax spoke up.

"I held up my end." I took my shot and stood straight.

"Stupid bitch was messing with a girl, I got involved," Caleb shot and he sunk one of his. I frowned. "she said a few words, I said a few words," I took my shot again, hitting one of mine and sinking two. I grinned when he glared at me, muttering something. I let out a laugh. "She pulled my hair and I turned around and punched the bitch." Laughter erupted from a few men. I laughed too.

"Bet your Mom wasn't too happy with that." I jumped at the sound of Gemma's voice. I whirled around, the smile still on my face. "Nope but it was worth it. She thought I wouldn't do anything."

A shout from Caleb turned me back around. I let out a huff as he did a victory dance. "Again." He laughed and Chibs put the balls in the triangle. He started first, sinking a striped ball. I was solid.

"Get back to work people." Clay shouted and I heard groans from a few of the men who had to get out of the clubhouse to work on the cars. Caleb and I left alone playing Pool, some of the men coming in and out at times. We played pool for a _very_ long time, he won three games I won two.

I guess I was going to like it in Charming after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Again, no chapter title.

Thanks for the reviews as always. More reviewing please.

Enjoy.

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Chapter 10

He beat me.

I admit he did but he didn't need to rub it in my face. He was smirking at me as I challenged him to another. I didn't like being beat at anything. He knew that but still he taunted me.

"Really? You wanna loose again?" Usually when someone taunts another person, you don't stand next to them. And that's exactly where he was, beside me laughing his ass off like he was so fucking funny. I threw my pole down and lunged at him. He let out a yelp as we tumbled to the floor. There was no one inside so it was just two wrestling on the floor. His hands pushed on my shoulder, trying to shove me off him. I grabbed his wrist pushing his hands off my shoulder. He was strong and could easily roll me off.

Our grunts of fighting were the only noise inside. I was starting to laugh as we continued to struggle. "This is not funny!" He ground out as I pushed against his grip. I rolled off him, hurrying to my feet. I could hear him behind me, running up. I jumped over the pool table, sliding off when I felt a force on my back. I hit the floor face first with a groan. "Is this funny?" He asked as he sat on my back, his weight making me stay on the ground. I wouldn't have minded because I could just buck him off.

But I did mind.

My mind flashed back to that day. When the man pushed me down, getting on top of me. The only different was that I was face down this time but still I felt vunerable. "...get off..." I muttered trying to force the memory away. That was my brother. Not that rapist. My Brother. He laughed not understanding. "Nah I think I'll just stay." I was tensing up again. I tried to move but he just put more weight on me. He didn't know. I wanted to keep it like that. I didn't know his reaction and I didn't want to.

"...please get off..." I was going to break down again. I could feel the man's breath on me and I shivered. My head was swirling with emotions. My chest was starting to constrict, his weight and the weight of the memory was becoming hard on me. I couldn't do anything without him coming back and ruining everything. He took everything from me for just an act that lasted for a few minutes.

"Caleb get off me!" I shouted finally unable to help myself.

He got to me, the man who took everything from me was taking away my playfulness too. Caleb rolled off me at the shout, kneeling before me with a hand reaching out timidly to touch my shoulder. He touched my cheek, wiping away tears I didn't know were there. He looked worried as if he caused me pain. I turned my head to the other side, curling into a ball. All I could see was him over me, touching me, violating me. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about that day? I tried so hard yet the memory seemed to be coming back stronger.

"Callie?" He whispered trying to get me to look at him. I shook my head, tears falling and a sob escaping. I wanted to feel numb again. I was safer numb. I needed a drink, badly. "Callie please." He pleaded touching my hand. I flinched as if he hit me. In that instant the door opened. The voices of a few men were loud, filling the once quiet clubhouse. As soon as they saw us, they reacted. I could recall just a few voices, like that of Juice and Prospect.

"Aw shit." Juice muttered standing a few feet from us. Caleb looked up at him. "I don't know what's wrong with her." He sounded desperate.

"I'll go find Jax." Prospect said, the door opening and closing as he left. There wasn't any need to go find him. I was already embarrassed as it was being caught by three men crying like a baby on the floor. The door opened seconds later, Jax rushing in. He came to me, bending down. "Callie?" I shook my head.

"Don't crowd me please." I begged. There were more men around me than I wanted. Way too many. I saw him motion for Juice and Prospect to leave. They obliged not wanting to cause trouble. Jax gently grabbed my arm, pulling me out of my ball. He helped me up, letting me shield my face against his side as he walked me wherever he was taking me. "Ma!" He called out as soon as we walked outside. Gemma came out of her office and rushed to us as soon as she seen Jax walking with me.

"What happened?" Jax shook his head. I moved from Jax to Gemma, crying into her hold as she held me. Where was Mom?

"It was my fault..." I muttered pulling from Gemma. I rubbed my arm. "We were just playing around and then he sat on me and I...I..." Gemma softened her gaze at me. "I didn't mean to worry anyone. Gemma can I...can I talk to you alone for a few?" I really needed some help. I couldn't keep the memory to myself anymore. Mom only knew I was raped, she didn't know all the details.

"Sure sweetie." She led me to her office, closing the door behind her. She sat in her seat and I sat in front of her. This was awkward. I was going to open up to a woman who I just found was my grandmother after a day. I placed my hands on the desk, folding them and fiddling with my thumb. I was nervous. "H-How much did my mom tell you?"

"She told me that you were raped." I looked down at my hand. Was I really going to tell her? I cleared my throat. Yes I was.

"I was walking home from a friend's house after a fight with another girl. I wasn't watching where I was going and this guy h-he just comes up to me and g-grabs me like nothing. H-He told me not to make a sound as he dragged me to an alley." Tears were forming again. "He threw me on the floor g-getting on top of me, ripping my clothes." I licked my lips, my mouth going dry. "He took me right there in the alley. He didn't care how much I screamed, just made sure to cover my mouth. I tried to fight but he just hit me over and over. Once he f-finished he just got up, laughed, and left me there. I didn't know what to do." I finally looked up at her. "I was in so much pain and I just wanted to forget everything. When Caleb sat on me I-I just lost it. I remembered being in that alley with that man over me. I-I don't know what's wrong with me."

I cried into my hands, sobbing

Gemma went over to me, pulling me into her arms. "Don't tell Ma please." I begged her. "I don't want her to worry 'bout me anymore."

"Sweetie you need to talk to her about this."

"I will just...please I'm not ready. Please." She sighed and nodded reluctantly. She wanted me to tell Mom but I needed to tell Mom on my own.

I just didn't know how to tell her that the man who raped me was her ex-boyfriend.


	11. Chapter 11: Family Dinner 1

Thanks for the reviews but I would love more. I'm glad so many are enjoying this story.

Happy is in this chapter.

Enjoy.

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Chapter 11: Family Dinner 1

It's been a few days since my mini confession with Gemma. I felt a bit better after telling her, she listened to me and didn't tell Mom which I was very grateful for. I was still trying to tell her figure out to break through that it was her ex Danny Miller, an asshole who didn't know a good woman if she stepped on his balls. I felt he took advantage of my mother when they were together. He didn't show her the love she deserved and I was so happy when she got rid of him.

Guess he didn't. He took his anger of Mom leaving him out on me that night.

Anyway, enough of that asshole.

Gemma had invited Mom and us over for a dinner. She said it was to 'welcome' us back home and the whole 'family' was going to be there. Mom was excited. She figured this would be a good time to get used to be around so many people. I didn't like the idea all that much. I didn't think I could get used to the whole idea of a new family in a new place all at once. I was going to try though, for Mom, because she needed me to.

I was going to dress nicely. I found a pair of black jeans and a purple t-shirt. I brushed my hair and grabbed my black flats. "Callie hurry the fuck up in there!" Caleb yelled pounding on the bathroom door. I had decided to shower and dress in the bathroom. I could hear Mom's yell for him to stop cursing and his 'I'm sorry' yelled back. I snickered unlocking the door. He ran in literally pushing me out. He slammed the door in my face when I turned around. I chuckled going downstairs to where Mom was.

Mom was in the kitchen, talking on the phone. Mom was wearing a pair of blue hipster jeans with a black blouse. Her hair was half up half down with a black clip holding her bangs loosely. She looked beautiful. "You look nice Mom." I told her smiling as I grabbed a cup of water. Mom smiled back, "You too sweetie." I drank the water slowly watching as Mom talked on the phone.

I was listening in, sue me.

"Mom I told you, I filed one. Seems like he still don't get it. Yeah. I know. Ma."I was suspicious, a thought of who they could be talking about running around in my head. Mom sounded frustrated towards the end. The sigh people let out when they're tired of being interrupted. She placed her head against her palm.

"Caleb's in the shower." She laughed at something Gemma said. "No Callie was in there for a very long time." She spotted me still there shook her head at me to which I grinned. i took a gulp letting time pass...

THUD

I swallowed a too much water that instant when I sucked in a breath and let out a laugh only the laugh sounded more like a choke. Mom acted quickly. She put the phone down, coming over to me and pounding on my back as I coughed. Really all she did was hurt me a bit more but I wouldn't say anything. Mom laughed running up the stairs. I was laughing again as I imagined what happened. I knew it was Caleb who probably slipped coming out of the shower. I knew he would be in pain but just the thought of his face as he fell was a reason for me laughing.

I grabbed the phone, making sure to keep from pressing any buttons. I figured Gemma would be upset Mom wasn't on the phone. I rushed up, two at a time and found Caleb heading to his room a towel wrapped around his waist while he rubbed head. I laughed again and he glared at me, not seeing the funniness. Mom was holding in her laughter reaching for the phone in my hand. "Its not funny!" Caleb yelled as I cracked up again.

"Sorry 'bout that Ma, something fell." She wasn't going to humiliate Caleb. "Yeah we'll be there in about 20 minutes, maybe less. Okay bye. Love you too Ma."

-o-

Ten minutes later, I was downstairs with Mom. She was watching TV while I was doodling on a piece of paper. I really needed friends. Caleb came down, dressed in blue jeans and a white shirt. His hair was drying up, small droplets still in his hair. I snickered to myself at the small bruise forming on the corner of his head. Mom got up, getting her purse off the coffee table along with her keys and cell. She winced when she saw the bruise on his head. "You did a real number on yourself." She told him. Caleb nodded sadly.

Mom drove to Gemma and Clay's house. She parked right in front. We followed her to the door and she opened the door, walking in. I could never do that. Who knows what person could come in. "Hey Ma." She hugged Gemma. I hugged Gemma too, sitting in one of the chairs. Gemma looked at the bruise forming on Caleb's head. "Something fell huh Jazzy." Gemma laughed causing Caleb to blush. He sat beside me.

There were already a few people sitting at the table. Two kids who sat at the very end and a woman. "Jazzy?" I watched as Mom and the woman exchanged a hug. "Hi Donna. Sorry I didn't come see you. Lots of trouble settling back." This Donna woman gave Mom a small smile.

"They yours?" She asked looking at us with a smile. Mom nodded. "Caleb and Callie." We said our hellos to Donna who in return introduced us to her kids. The girl, Ellie, and her younger brother Kenny. I smiled to them not really wanting to talk. I wonder if they felt the same.

Mom and Donna helped Gemma set the table, putting food where it belonged and plates. There were many empty seats therefore many people were coming. The door opened again and in came Chibs, Juice, and Prospect. "Hello Chibs, Juice, Half-sack." Mom greeted, hugging Chibs who whispered something in her ear. She got serious but that passed after a second. What was going on? Chibs sat a few seats away on the opposite side with Juice beside him and Prospect.

Few minutes later, the rest of the 'family' entered. Jax sat besides Clay who sat at the front of the table. Gemma sat beside him, Mom sitting beside her. Another woman was there too, she sat beside Jax. Opie sat beside Donna and her kids who I realized was his family. I wouldn't have minded who I sat beside but the people who sat in front of me I minded very much. They were the men from the first day who I saw talking to each other. Creepy and Happy.

Everyone went quiet as Clay cleared his throat. He stood from his seat, beer in hand, as he smile down at Mom. "I want to be the first to say Welcome back Jazzy. We've missed you." Mom smiled at everyone nodding her to to Clay. "Good to be home." The happiness in Mom's voice was unmistakable. She really was happy to be back home. To be with a family she's missed for so long. Clay turned to the pair of us.

"Also to Callie and Caleb, Welcome home." I smiled at Clay as Caleb grinned wide.

"Dig in everyone," Gemma pipped up laughing as everyone did just that. Dinner wasn't going to be so bad after all.

-o-

The food was good. Gemma and whoever helped did a very good job. We were about done with the food, chatting happening all around us. Was this a real dinner? I was asked questions too, mostly by Gemma and Clay who wanted to 'get to know me'. I guess I didn't really mind. I knew soon they would want to. Some of the guys even spoke to me, well us, about the pool game.

"Who won?" Jax asked putting another spoonful of food into his mouth. I grumbled with a smile. Caleb was laughing. "Not her that's for sure." I punched him in the arm shaking my head. The guys laughed. "We could always have a rematch. You just had beginner's luck." I responded with a smirk. He chuckled. "You're on."

"Maybe this time we can have a crowd watch as I beat you." He laughed as if mocking me.

"I wouldn't mind. All their gonna see is you loose."

"Keep dreaming." I replied taking a sip of my water.

"I need to see that happen." Juice said from across the table. "Count me in too." Came another and soon we had a nearly everyone who wanted to watch the match between me and Caleb. Clay shook his head with a smile. Gemma laughed as did everyone at the table.

"So what did you do up there in Chicago Jaz?" Jax asked Mom taking a sip of his beer.

"Nurse work." Mom answered taking a sip of her drink. I was made to drink some water as was Caleb and being around them while they drank made me want to too. "Actually I'm working with Tara right now." Jax looked at the woman beside him, Tara, who nodded with a smile.

"So what made you decided to come back Jazzy?" It was that rough voice from Happy. Mom looked at him, anger in her eyes. I hadn't seen that look in her face before. She looked like she wanted to scream at him but with all of around she had to keep herself calmed. Happy on the other hand, he looked pissed. His spoon hit against the plate as he took another bite. I took a bite of my dinner roll glancing warily at Mom and Happy. What the hell was going on?

"Thought I should be with my family. Who knows, I might just leave again." Her voice was strained and for a second I wondered if there was something going on between them. I blew off the thought, Mom would never go with a man like that...well I hoped not but I could be wrong.

Happy snorted and Mom's eyes got darker. "Okay that's enough." Gemma said trying to break them up before something happened. Mom went back to eating.

Happy wasn't done yet. "You only left because you were mad." He said with anger glaring back at Mom. I didn't understand what was going on, part of me wanted to just have a peaceful dinner but the other part curious. Don't you hate being torn? I sure did.

Mom dropped her spoon, glaring daggers at Happy. "Why I left is none of you're damn business Hap." She growled out and I wondered if everyone called him Hap.

"You left and hooked up with such fucking asshole-." Everyone was screaming at Happy, mostly for the language he was using around the kids and for the reason he wasn't stopping like Gemma said. Did Mom tell him about Danny? "who just used you when you had everything over here. Now tell me, does that make any fucking sense to you?" Mom got up so fast, her chair leg scrapping against the floor. I really did act like Mom, it was crazy how much I was like her. The same angry face, the actions, the screaming. That was all me.

"Sit down!" Clay ordered but the pair stood glaring at each other while screaming to each other completely ignoring the fact that we were at a family dinner.

"You don't fucking know me Hap. Don't you start this shit with me!" Mom seethed poiting a finger at him.

"I don't fucking know you? Maybe you've forgotten who I am. Who I was to you-." Mom threw her cup at him, her drink splashing him in the face. If it wasn't loud then, it defiantly was now. Happy would have reached around the table and grabbed Mom to do god knows what to her if Jax and Tig hadn't held him back. They strained to do so too, Happy looked like some madman for a minute there. He was pissed at Mom for something that happened long ago. "Calm down brother." Tig told Happy, literally pushing him from the table towards the door. Happy didn't need to be told twice. He opeend the door and slammed it shut behind him. Mom was fuming where she stood. I never seen her that worked up before, I was amazed and a bit afraid. Happy got her that way.

"Jazzy go cool off." Gemma ordered but Mom didn't move. "Now Jaz." Clay bellowed and Mom shot him one of her looks before finally leaving the dinner table. She went down a hall and a door was slammed shut.

I was looking down at my plate, confused as to what just happened. "We should be going on." It seemed after that, everyone started heading out. The table looked empty now, the only ones left were Caleb, me, Gemma, Jax, and Clay. We sat without talking. Caleb was fiddling with his spoon on the plate. iw as tapping my fingers on the table.

Gemma sighed, speaking first. "She's got a temper."

Clay chuckled, "Comes from you're side of the family.

Jax rubbed his temple getting up from his seat. I watched him head down to where Mom was. He knocked on the door. "Jaz we gotta talk."

"Go away Jackson." Mom shouted. I sighed laying my head down on my arms. Yup, defiantly me. Jax leaned against the door. "Come on Jaz."

"Jax if you don't move from that door I'm gonna unlock the door and kick your ass." Mom hissed.

"Go on try it." He provoked and Mom did open the door. She sighed frustrated and dropped her head against Jax's chest. He held Mom like a real brother did. He was whispering to her so I couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Well there goes that chance at a peaceful dinner."

I let out a chuckle.


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for all the reviews. Not much happening in this chapter but still review please.

* * *

Chapter 12

Gemma and Mom had a _long_ talk afterwards. They went to a secluded part of the house, just them two no other distractions. I didn't understand what happened between Mom and Happy but I knew something was wrong. Mom never got like that. She was so _angry_ and _hurt_. That wasn't like her. Mom always seemed happy to me. Clay and Jax were chatting while Caleb and I were left to sit around, bored out of our mind. I really needed to get out more. I was always so bored now. I had no friend yet and I was hoping to make some before I had to go to back to school.

I was tossing pieces of food at Caleb who was growing annoyed. I tossed a pea at him with my chin resting on my palm. He glared hard at me for the hundredth time that night. "Quit it." He hissed out. Clay and Jax looked over at us, confused as to why Caleb was irritated. "Hey now," Clay started. "don't need the both of you mad too."

I rolled my eyes tapping my finger against the table. Caleb was still glaring from his seat. I could ignore him for a while. I was used to it. "Callie I need to ask you something." I jerked my head to Clay.

"What?" I questioned not liking the way he said it.

"Has Danny Miller ever...hurt you in any way?" I was startled by the question. Did he know something about what happened? I forced myself to keep cool, I didn't want him to know anything. It was bad enough I was raped by him but worse if more than one person knew about it. I didn't want to be known as the girl who was raped for the rest of my life.

"No." I answered with a calm tone, "Not that I know of anyway." Clay and Jax nodded, happy with that answer, and returned to talking to each other. So the conversation Mom was having earlier that day was about him. Was he back? Did he know where we were? His face was the last one I ever wanted to see. That sick monster stole what I could never have back. Something was going on. Mom was worried, she lashed out, and now Clay asked me a question that hit close to home.

He was back.

I just knew it.

Mom and Gemma came back a few minutes later, both frustrated with each other. "Come on kids." Mom said heading for the door. We said our goodbyes to the three adults and walked out of Gemma's home. Mom was concentrated on something in her mind, not really talking on the way home.

Yup, he had to be. He was the problem hanging over everyone's head.

-o-

When we got home, I rushed to my room. I was tired and my mind was racing with questions I couldn't get answers too. I just wanted to jump into bed and sleep until tomorrow. Had a problem though.

On my bed was the bottle. My bottle. My left over vodka.

I closed my door, locking it behind me. Mom had went to her room first, followed by Caleb who gave us no word. I grabbed a pair of pants from my drawer and one of Caleb's worn out shirts that I stole from him and changed.

Afterwards, I still had a dilemma. Every time I was near a bottle, I had the urge to drink. I picked up the bottle, knowing if I drank the questions and thoughts and memories would be pushed aside for another day. Did I really want to drink? Not really but I always did. Tonight was no exception. I twisted the cap off, taking a large sip. The liquor burned the back of my throat and I winced forcing myself to get used to it again. I wondered how Caleb was doing with his drink-free day. Really if he was doing fine then maybe I would be able to.

I jumped onto my bed, bouncing slightly. I snuggled into my pillow pulling the covers tighter around me with the bottle at my side. Did Mom leave because of him too? Or was he just part of the reason? Mom's actions tonight confused me. She had a past with this Happy person. A past neither of them got over. I hoped that wouldn't drive us back to Chicago. If I had to get used to being here just to move back then I would go insane.

One last swing and I recapped the bottle. I dropped it behind my bed, curling into a ball and hugging the pillow tighter. How was Caleb handling everything? He didn't seem like the type to talk about things with others. He was like me in a way, we did better on our own than with others. Was he okay with everything that was going on?

Sighing, I got out of bed. I unlocked my door, peeking out. The lights were all off signaling both Caleb and Mom were in their rooms. I scurried to Caleb's door, making sure to be light on my feet. I turned the handle relieved when I found no lock. I cracked open the door, it was pitch black in his rose except for a small light. He was already snoring. He didn't usually pass out like that unless...

A bottle came rolling towards me. I grimaced bending down and picking up the empty glass bottle.

"Oh fuck..." I muttered. He wasn't doing so good. "Caleb you idiot."

He drank a whole bottle in a matter of days.

He's an alcoholic.

Just like me.

Fuck.


	13. Author's Note

A/N: Not an update.

I know a lot of you want me to update soon but I've got a bit of writers block. Some suggestions of how to start the next chapter will be very helpful. If you want to help, send me messages.

Also, I'm surprised that most of you wanted Callie and Happy to be together. I'm sorry if you're disappointed but Happy and Callie will not be together in this story. Thanks for the reviews, I'm happy the story was liked.

Again, message me if you're willing to help.

Thank you.


	14. Chapter 13: Emergency

Well heres the chapter. I would like to thank both **fanficfan4ever **and **Wild Flower 13 **for giving me suggestions. I had taken some of the suggestions into mind and I hoped the both of you will be happy at the chapters to come. Enjoy and review.

Also, thanks for all the reviews.

* * *

Chapter 13: Emergency

I made my way to Caleb's bed, his snoring loud enough to wake the dead. I made sure to step lightly, I didn't want to alarm him that I was in his room. Caleb was half off his bed, arm hanging off the edge. That made it all the more easy to tell he passed out. I placed the bottle on the nightstand, tucking his arm under the pillow. I didn't know why he was being so fucking stupid drinking a whole bottle. If he was like me, he had to careful time how much he could handle before the liquor became too much, didn't he know that? I was wondered though. He could have seriously hurt himself.

"Caleb." He didn't respond, didn't even move as I called his name directly in front of his face. "Caleb." I repeated louder than before hoping he would wake soon.

Nothing...at all.

I grabbed his arm pinching the skin between my thumb and finger. Okay, that wasn't going to work. I moved his body so he was laying on his back. I turned his head to me and I gave him one of the hardest slaps I make. His eyes snapped open and he jumped when he saw me. Did he feel that?

"What the fuck are you doing here_?_" He seethed at me, sitting up quicker than I could move. His head banged right into mine causing unwanted pain in my forehead. "Aw fuck." He complained rubbing where out heads connected. I narrowed my eyes at him rubbing the sore spot on my head that was for sure red now. I grabbed the bottle and shoved it at him. He blinked as he held the bottle, squiting in the dark to read the bottle. I rolled my eyes and switched on the lamp on the nightstand.

"What is you're problem!" He hissed as the bright light hit him directly in the eyes.

"You, you fucking moron!" I hissed back with an equally spiteful tone. "God I don't know what's you're problem but you're going to get yourself killed if you keep drinking like this." I was really worried about my older brother. He never would have done something so stupid and dangerous. He was a good kid. Always has been. Why did he change that?

"Why the fuck should you care?" He bit back, throwing the blanket off his body and getting out of bed. He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. "You think you can just come to me and yell at me when you're doing the same shit as me? You fucking hypocrite!"

He was right. I was being a hypocrite in a way but he was wrong too. "I don't drink til I pass out moron!" I whispered in a harsh tone. "And I care because I'm you're fucking sister Caleb! I love you idiot!"

It was then that I noticed the way Caleb was breathing. It wasn't normal, no his chest heaved up and down slower than usual and I could finally hear the way he was took in air and let it out. "Caleb..?" He was looking a bit...pale. "Caleb look at me." He slowly looked me in the eyes, his breathing very shallow.

I grabbed his arm again, pinching the flesh between my thumb and finger. I made sure to pinch hard. And what I hoped wouldn't happen, happened.

"Ow..." He pulled back a few seconds after, a late reaction to something that should have taken half a second to react too. "What was that for..."

"Caleb!" His body went down fast and hard, eyes closing in a second.

THUD!

I couldn't catch his body in time. I flinched when his body hit the floor hard, his head cracking on the wood. I dropped beside him, sitting him up. "Caleb...Caleb wake up!" I yelled, tears falling down my cheeks rapidly. "Mom! Mom!" I screamed, shaking Caleb's limp body. He wasn't responding.

Fuck no...please...

"Mom hurry!" The door opened quickly, Mom flicking on the lights. Mom gasped. "Mom he won't wake up!" I was sobbing freely now. Mom had rushed from Caleb's room, no doubt getting her phone to call and ambulance. I held Caleb in my arms. What did he think he was accomplishing by getting so drunk like this? What was he thinking? Mom came rushing back. She passed me my jacket and shoes. I pulled everything on quickly.

"The ambulance is coming." Mom had tears forming in her eyes. I cried harder feeling more pain that my mom was crying over her son.

-o-

The ambulance rushed Caleb to the hospital, Mom and me in the back with Caleb and the paramedics. He was strapped down so he wouldn't fall as the ambulance raced to the hospital. A mask was over his mouth and nose, giving him oxygen. He was breathing right still. Mom was doing her best to stay strong but I knee she was crying inside. She was worried much like any parent would be if put in such a situation as this.

We were at the hospital in less than 10 minutes, the paramedics rolling the gurney out of the truck and into the hospital. Mom rushed to catch up, me at her side. I was scared to death. He could die and that's what worried me more than anything. Not being with my twin brother for the rest of my life. He was my best friend, my family.

"You can't go past here Ma'am." One of the male nurses said, holding Mom back. I let out a sob, standing back. Mom left to make a call seeing as cellphones weren't allowed in hospitals. I waited inside, sitting in one of the chairs of the waiting room. It was silent, other people waiting around too. I was afraid for them too. What happened to their loved one to end up here? I hugged my feet to my chest, holding onto myself tightly.

Mom stayed outside for a while, no doubt talking to Gemma and Clay or who ever she called. I rocked myself, trying to comfort myself through the pain I was feeling, laying my head on my arms. He was a good kid, why was he doing all this? He could die, did he not know that! I felt arms wrap around my shoulders and I glanced over to see Gemma. Jax was holding Mom as she cried. Clay then pulled his daughter into a hug, she wrapped her arms around her daddy. Well, step-dad.

I longed for that. Even if I said I didn't, I wanted my dad to hold me like that. Gemma was soothing me, holding me tightly as she spoke words to me, trying to calm me down. She didn't understand why I was crying as hard and much as I was. It wasn't the fact that Caleb was in the emergency room but the fact that HE could of been ME. I could of been the one who passed out but no one would have found me until it was too late because I didn't tell anyone my secret.

He was the one who told everyone. I was still in secrecy. "It's going to be okay Callie." Gemma told me, wiping the tears on my face with her fingers.

No, it wouldn't be. Not until he was okay.

God please...don't take him from us...

Please...


	15. Chapter 14: Silent Promises

A/N: Thanks for reviewing. Enjoy this and review!

Chapter 14: Silent Promise

The doctor's came back in what seemed like hours. Waiting in a chair for news about a loved one who may or may not live was the most difficult thing I had ever done. How did these people expect me to sit while my brother was in the Emergency room? That was absurd. Eventually I seated myself in a small corner, not wanting to be touched by anyone, male or female. Mom had taken a few breaks in and out, her eyes red from crying. Gemma, Clay, and Jax were all in the same emotional state. They felt what Mom was feeling.

I was the one being left out. I didn't feel the same as them because I was having my own little battle inside on top of what was going on with Caleb. He was only here because of me, he was going to be okay because of me. What would have happened if I had been the one to pass out like he had? Would I have been saved or would I have just died in my own bed? Waiting was starting to give me anxiety. My chest was starting to hurt in a way I couldn't heal the pain myself. I was just so worried about Caleb that when the doctor started talking to Mom, I nearly passed out on the spot.

From where I sat I could hear lots of what they were saying as long as I kept quiet and still.

"We have pumped his stomach to rid him of the ethanol. He took in more than the common adult male does. If you're daughter hadn't intervened, he wouldn't have survived." Tears pricked the side of my eyes at the thought of Caleb dying. It was an absurd thought. He couldn't leave me, never.

Mom rubbed her head, nodding as the doctor continued to talk. "He has asked for his sister many times but he is fast asleep right now. You may go see him if you want. The nurse will direct you there." He motioned to the woman at his side who walked Mom to the hall and around the corner where I last saw Caleb. I still stayed in my spot, yawning and rocking back and forth. Clay eventually spotted me and came over to sit beside me.

I winced when he rubbed my back, startled that he touched me. "Its okay kid. Doc said he's going to be just fine." He reassured me.

I nodded. "I know that." It was me I didn't know about being okay. I was getting real dizzy and I didn't understand why. Clay kept trying to comfort me, rubbing my back in small circles. My hands were jumping, my nerves going out of control from all the building anxiety. I hoped Clay didn't notice, Mom did not need to be worrying about both her kids. I had to wait until Mom got back to see Caleb even though he asked for me first. Was he awake now?

-o-o-o-o-o-

Mom came back half an hour later. 30 minutes seemed to be hours of waiting and jumping nerves and tightening stomach muscles and all just unnecessary anxiety. The nurse was at her side and Mom motioned me forward. I shakily got to my feet, blood rushing to my head as I made my way to her. "She's going to take you to Caleb." I nodded to Mom and followed the nurse down the hall and taking the turn.

I wondered all the way if things would be different with no drinking. Caleb wouldn't be in here, that's for sure. Yet, I found things to be harder if I was sober the entire time. I would be living in fear of what Danny did to me. I would cower and hide away trying to make myself disappear. And yet, I knew I could live without drinking. I just _choose_ not to.

The nurse led me into a room, letting me go in. She followed behind, closing the door behind her. I sat on the chair beside Caleb's bed. I stared at him, tears wanting to fall again. He looked so peaceful and he could have been dead if not for the constant rising of his chest as he took in air. My fingers ghosted over his hand until I felt myself grab his hand. I leaned over his bed, crying now, into his hand. How'd we come to this? How did we go from being innocent to down right alcoholics?

I felt a tight squeeze and I quickly looked up. Same colored orbs stared into mine. He was awake. I did my best to smile but that seemed to make me want to cry so much harder. He looked so pitiful now, lying helpless in the bed, staring at me with a weak smile of his own. His orbs were moving, clearly he wanted to cry too, show me some sort of emotion. "I'm so sorry." I muttered to him, laying my head back down on his bed. I didn't know why I was apologizing but I somehow felt this was all my fault.

"Not you're fault..." He told me, his voice scratchy. "It's mine."

My shoulders shook as I sobbed louder. Here he was trying to be the older brother when, in fact, him being near death had been partially my fault. Caleb wouldn't have kept on drinking if I had told my secret.

A thought hit me.

"Nurse can you leave please?" I asked her without even turning to face her. My eyes were locked onto Caleb, anger coursing through me.

"Sure." The door opened and closed behind her.

For a few minutes it was silent. I was staring at Caleb with an intensity that made him shrink back against his pillow. "You nearly killed yourself and for what? To teach me a lesson?" I hissed out to him, sitting straight up in the chair.

"Yes." Was his quick reply. "I wanted you to see what could happen before it was too late."

I shook my head at him. "Un-fucking-believeable! You nearly _killed_ yourself for something as stupid as that? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know what could have happened to you?" The anger was gone, replaced with the pain and guilt and sadness. My voice cracked at the end of my ranting. "I don't want to loose my brother Caleb. If you died, I don't know what I would do. I don't think me and Mom could handle that."

The guilt I was feeling flashed across his face. "I know..." He whispered looking away from me in shame. "but that was the only way I would get you to see before it was too late. I didn't want to have to bury my own sister." Tears slipped from his eyes. I leaned close, butting my head against his.

In that time, we shared our grief and pain. We shared the fear and guilt over what had happened through tears. We both cried in front of each other, feeling safer that it was with someone we knew rather than a group of strangers. "I don't want to ride in the back of an ambulance ever again Caleb." I whispered to him, wiping the tears on my cheek.

"I won't let that happen." He told me, taking the big brother role serious again. "You and me are going to be going to some AA meetings as soon as we can. No exceptions." There was a final authority to his tone and I knew he wasn't kidding around. We would be going to the meeting one way or another.

"Okay." I told him. "No exceptions."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Eventually, Caleb fell asleep again. The tears had brought him to an emotional state he wasn't used to and that wore him down. I stayed by his side the entire time, laying my head on the railing of the bed. He was okay. He was alive. That's all that mattered.

"Caleb if only you knew why." I whispered knowing he couldn't hear me. "It's not fun for me either Caleb." More tears slipped out and I was sure my eyes were red and puffy by now. "I don't wanna drink but it helps. Do you know why?" It was weird, talking to him and not having him respond back to me. Also comforting to know he would be the only other person to know the whole truth even if he was asleep.

"Course you don't." I sighed, taking in a deep shallow breath. I was ready to say it. "Danny raped me a few weeks ago." Pain in my chest again. "He was mad at Mom for breaking up with me and he found the perfect way to get back at her." A sad smile broke out on my face. "That's why I freaked when you pinned me. Felt like it was him all over again. Silly I know but you wouldn't understand." I glanced at him for a second, seeing if he was awake or still passed out.

Passed out he was.

"Nobody understands. If I drink, the thoughts and images go away. I feel numb. If I don't, I'm reminded of that night every single time I shut my eyes. I just wanted to forget. That's all. But I see where that's going to make me end up and I don't wanna push myself that far." I rambled, gripping his hand tightly. "I promise. No more drinking. I promise."


	16. Chapter 15: Somehow

A/N: I'm sorry this update took so long but here it is. It's a short chapter and I'm sorry about that too. Hope all my reviewers/alerters/favs enjoy the chapter.

Review please.

Chapter 15: Somehow

I had cried myself to sleep on the chair, staring at Caleb's sleeping form.

So peaceful. So calm.

The way he looked made me feel pain. Made me know I wasn't as numb as I wished to be. Drinking made me realize just how fragile everyone really was. Under neath all the walls was just a person who needed help whether we wanted the help or not. He was no exception. I was no exception.

I wondered what he was thinking while he decided to drink the whole bottle. Was he trying to numb himself too or was it just to teach me? He couldn't have known for sure I was going to his room. He took a very risky chance just to show me where I was heading if I kept drinking.

A question lingered in the back of my mind. One that would cause so much tension and hurt between me and the ones I loved.

Was I really going to stop drinking?

-o-o-o-o-o-

Sometime during the night while Caleb was asleep Mom had come into the room. I was woken by her presence but she didn't seem to hear me wake up. I was glad too, I didn't want to have to tallk with her. Mom didn't sit to well with near death experience or feeling helpless when it came to one of her children. I was proof of that. Mom nearly broke when she found out I was raped. She took the news hard but the incident was harder on me. She didn't know how defenseless and dirty I felt after the attack. He made me feel so worthless taking away what was mine to give.

What was done, was done. I just had to live with it somehow.

When Mom fell asleep on the other chair in the room, I slipped out of Caleb's room. I needed to get some air. I needed to get away from all the pain around me and sort through the mess in my head. Things were going from bad to worse. I had to get help.

But did I want it?

...

...

...

No.

Fuck no.

The sad truth was I had a problem that was out of control. There was no simple way for me to just stop. I was suffering but no one saw. I held in my pain for the night to only see and hear. I made sure to be the rebel teen in the day and let the pain out at night. Drinking was my salvation no matter how I saw it. Numbing the pain was how I got through it all and there was no way in hell I was going to let that go. Caleb was going to get the help he needed because I would not see my mother cry over her child in fear of loosing one.

No.

I rather it be me that suffered than those around me. And so I choose from that moment on to get Caleb his help and face my own troubles on **my** own. Nobody was going to help me with this. Just me and the pain. The pain wasn't going to win. I suffered far too long at the hands of the memory.

He was going to pay.

Danny had a debt to pay.

His time was running.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I took a small stroll down the hall. It was around 3 in the morning so there wasn't anyone out walking. The hospital was pretty much shutdown for the night. I sat on the bench in the hall, resting my head on my palms. Life was so screwed up. My finger started to twitch all on its own. I would have been scared if not for having the same reaction when I was in need of a quick drink. My nerves always acted up when I got in a position I didn't like or if I denied myself the one pleasure that took away the day'a angst.

Somehow I was going to take control.

Somehow...


	17. Chapter 16: Telling, kinda

A/N: Finally all my SOA stories are updated. Thanks for the reviews and I hope to get more. Enjoy

Chapter 16: Telling, kinda

After Caleb got out of the hospital, things were just starting to heat up. It seemed like his little stunt had caused everyone anxiety along with anger and pain. One thing I truly knew was that mixed emotions tended to burst out in different ways than we would have originally wanted or expected. Just like with my dark secret I still refused to tell anyone, Caleb had his own surprising ones he didn't want to say. I respected that, knew well how it felt to have to keep something hidden thinking it would protect everyone. Yet things like that never went according to plan.

The mess started a few days after he was officially cleared to leave by Dr. Knowles. Mom wanted the incident to be kept to family only and so Dr. Knowles was placed in charge of him. I didn't know much about SamCro then but I could see there was a history between the doctor and SamCro. That much was clear. The Saturday morning started out normal; Mom would go to her job leaving me and Caleb home alone on to do what we wanted. Clay would have one of the Sons swing by just to check up on us. Couldn't complain there. I was glad another person cared about our safety but I felt there was a hidden motive to that.

Caleb and I were sitting at the table each of us having a bowl of Froot Loops, a ritual of ours since we were old enough to feed ourselves before Mom woke up. It was quiet between us, all that was heard was the TV blaring of Saturday cartoons and the crunching of cereal as we ate mixed with sound of metal hitting ceramic bowls. I would have enjoyed this silence if not for the great distance between us. Caleb was literally on the other end of the table.

He kept his head down, eyes avoiding mine. "I don't mean to be a bitch." I blurted out stopping myself from taking another bite full, spoon in mid air before I put my arm down. He kept eating, taking another bite, his head still bowed. "But I need to know why you really did what you did."

"I already told you why." He replied, his eyes slowly meeting mine.

I scoffed, "You can fool them but you can't fool me." Caleb thought he could really lie to me. I knew him from the inside out. He was _my_ twin and I knew _my_ twin well. He was acting odd this morning, there was a calmness around him that kept bothering me. Something was wrong. Seriously wrong for him not to want to even look me in the eye. Usually when he avoided my gaze was because he knew I would read him like a book. Same went for him when I refused to talk to him.

"I can fool you like I can fool anyone." He shot back finally lifting his head. His calm tone was nothing like the look he had. There was anger on his face along with pain blended in. He was trying to mask his sorrow and pain. It was a sad sight really. He lifted his bowl slurping the milk seeing as he was already done with the bowl. I was only on my fifth bite when I started the conversation.

I leaned over the table on my elbows with my hands folded together while I stared at him, surprised with the way he was. "Oh really? 'Cause I can see you're so fucking upset and hurting right now and it's hurting you."

He flinched. I hit spot on. "Shut up." He ordered me. I raised a brow at him confused as to why he was getting so mad at me.

"Or what? You gonna do something to me Caleb?" Yeah I was antagonizing him but I needed to find out what was eating him alive. He glared at me from where he sat, his hand gripping the bowl so tight I could see the white on his nails. Caleb didn't like what I was doing. He was catching onto what I was doing and he didn't like it. Only his anger was getting the best of him and he was slowly falling into my web.

"I'm not in the mood for this shit Callie. Don't you fucking start with me." He hissed out getting up, the force of his movements causing the chair to squeak back. He tossed the bowl into the sink not caring that it could break or the noise it would cause.

I jumped in my seat startled but continued to try and stare Caleb down. This wasn't going to end well. That much I knew.

"Who got you so fucking upset?" I asked him pushing my bowl away from me. My appetite was gone.

Caleb placed his hands on the sink edge, pushing all his weight into his arms and he stood with his head bowed for a while. I watched him silently exhale to calm down. He was so agitated. I slowly stood up from my seat, inching closer to him. I leaned against the sink beside him, my front to the table with my arms crossed over my chest and my eyes cast down to the floor. It was a quiet moment between us.

Driving a wedge between twins was bad enough but when the same person repeatedly did it, was worse. See before Caleb told me who the person responsible for causing him pain was, I assumed it was someone simple. An argument between a kid. A neighborhood bully or something. But no, it wasn't. It was always _him_. Like _he_ was never enough in my life problems.

Caleb sighed deeply, turning around and standing identical to me. "It was Ma's Ex."

That was the only name I needed. Mom had a lot of Ex's but none as bad as Danny. None at all. And now to know he did something to my brother and me was more than enough to cross the line of pain and misery to pain and rage. How dare he.

"Fuck he got to you too?" It was stupid question to blurt out but this was my brother, my twin. Danny managed to get us both in ways we wouldn't understand.

Caleb turned his head to me. "What do you mean too?"

Fucking hell...

-o-o-o-o-o-

It was quiet between us for a few minutes, neither of us wishing to speak. "Tell me what you meant." He demanded, no longer angry but confused and curious.

I shook my head. "Forget it. You're obviously gonna just make this about me when you're the one clearly upset here." I was putting my shields up again. If he knew, knew the deep dark secret I held, hell would surely follow because not would only he know but so would Mom and the Sons, many others who I didn't want to share with.

"No I'm not so stop avoiding my question and answer me." He nearly shouted agitated at me.

I scoffed turning my head to him. "What he do to you then?"

Caleb sighed deeply irritated at this on going conversation between us. Hell I was just as irritated as he was. "Fine you wanna know so bad?" I nodded to him, "He beat me." There was pain in my chest, a pain that caused my heart to ache. My twin was hurt and I couldn't _see_ it. "He beat me everyday when Mom was with him and he's back. He fucking came back and now he's in Charming. You happy now? You got what you wanted now speak. What the fuck did he do to you?"

He was so angry and frustrated, two emotions I knew best that I still hadn't mastered control over. "He did something to me Caleb." I muttered looking away. "Something so horrible that can't be covered up or healed." I wasn't going to just tell him Danny raped me. That would be too simple, too painful, too hard for us both to know.

"What? What did he do?" Caleb grabbed my shoulders, shaking me slightly to get my attention and show me he wasn't going to take that as an answer. My head lifted to meet his gaze and in the few seconds our gaze looked, we both realized something.

Caleb knew Danny raped me.

I knew Caleb was horrified and angry.

We both knew this was no longer just our secret.


	18. Chapter 17: Sibling Fight

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. Enjoy and review.

Chapter 17: Sibling Fight

This is what I was most afraid of. Once Caleb knew the horrible secret then one by one so would everyone else. "H-Him?" He stuttered and I pitied how he must have felt knowing Danny was the one who made me feel this way, actually pitied him because he would never understand no matter how much he wanted to.

I nodded words unable to come forth. I just felt like crying again. Caleb knowing was humiliating. I _let_ this man take away everything. If I had only been careful then maybe, maybe this wouldn't have happened to me. "Callie..." He then wrapped his arms around me. Big brother trying to comfort me when he didn't know how I was feeling. Big brother trying to take away the bad when he was just as weak as me. I pushed at him, successfully putting a distance between us. And then the anger came.

"Don't you pity me." I ground out staring at him angrily but it was not at him. I was angry at Danny because of Danny but Caleb was the only near me that I could actually take out my anger on. It wasn't a fair thought but I was in need of something to yell at, someone to scream out all my misery and rage. The life of a rape victim would never be the same, no matter how hard they tried, but I didn't learn that yet.

"I'm not-." My fist met his face, right at the nose. His head went back, blood gushing from his nose the moment I hit him. He stumbled back a few feet, hand on his face, as his eyes bore into mine. He was _pissed_ now. He let his hand fall allowing me to see the damage I had done. "Did...did you just hit me?" His calm question was nothing like I was expecting. He was too calm after a punch that could have literally broke his nose. Though I might have...

Suddenly he lunged at me, the weight of his body pushing into me caused me to stumble back into the counter. I winced as my side made contact with the counter, a dull throb remaining. I shoved him off me with force but all he did in return was punch me back. He raised a fist to me, catching me off guard and nailing me right in the face, the same spot I managed to get him in. I let out a cry, holding my nose in pain. I felt blood dripping down and knew he had broke something.

It was a dull ache just like my side but then the dull ache turned into a throbbing pain. My hands grabbed him by the shirt and I pulled him to me just as I raised my arm to punch him. Caleb moved quicker than me though and he nailed me in the jaw. I let him go rubbing my jaw and cracked my knuckles, preparing myself for a fight that was going to happen right here, right now between us two. A fight I had started and one of us would finish.

I tossed myself at him, our combined weight causing us to topple to the floor, me flipping over him and landing on my back. I rolled over onto my hands and knees rushing to be the first up. Caleb's fist then met my face and I dropped back down to the floor covering my face as a load of pain hit me. Blood dripped from my nose down onto the counter and I slowly looked up to meet Caleb's eyes.

Only the person I was staring at wasn't my twin. This was the boy who was tired of being beaten on, the boy who wanted a chance to fight back and here it was.

I punched him right in the gut and he winced stepping back a bit. I stood up and kicked him right in the shin. He groaned and fell to one knee and I kneed him in the face. This was going to be a bloody battle if we continued. He fell back, wiping the blood off his upper lip and then swept my feet from underneath me.

I landed hard on my back. Rolling over as fast as I could, I tried to get back up. Caleb grabbed me by the ankle and dragged me back, my legs sliding between his and then he sat on my stomach. Fear spread through me as I remembered. I tried my best to fight off the horrific memory, remembering this was my brother not Danny. Yet...Danny's image overcame Caleb's and suddenly I had this surge of anger pumping through me.

I pictured myself bucking Danny off like he weighed nothing and sitting on him instead. I pictured myself grabbing the hands that went to grab me and punching him in the gut with one fist over and over and over...I could hear 'Danny' groaning in pain as I landed punch after punch releasing fury that built up because of my trauma.

Hands grabbed at me this time from behind, hauling me up from on top of 'attacker'. I flailed in rage yelling for whoever it was to put me down, screaming after I managed to come to my senses and realize I just pulverized my recently-hospitalized brother.

Caleb was laying down, heaving as pain filled his stomach. He must have been in serious pain after having his stomach recently pumped. I just made him worse. An arm went around me, holding me tight so I wouldn't fall to my knees and break down. It was then did I notice Jax kneeling beside Caleb, asking him all kinds of questions to get him to respond.

"Outside now." A raspy voice said to me in the ear. I found myself moving to the door on command.


	19. Chapter 18: Revealed

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad people are enjoying the story. Remember to review.

Chapter 18: Revealed

"What happened in there?" His raspy voice slowly brought me back to my reality. I had zoned out from the time he ordered me outside til then where we stood in the backyard of my home. It was awkward being around a man who only knew me as my mother's daughter, a man who frightened me. Wasn't it obvious what happened between me and Caleb? We fought more than a brother/sister battle that usually occurred. We actually got physical with one another. Bloody and rough. Something so violent had never before happened but I knew it was because both of us were so angry, so pissed off at the world for something that happened. So hurt and afraid of a man who was coming back, who _was_ back to hurt our slowly recovering family.

"I...I got so mad at him and I punched first." I replied with my head hanging down in shame for what I had started. It wasn't even Caleb I was enraged with but he was the only person whom I could take out the pain and frustration on. It was wrong and I regret it, but truthfully, I never felt so relieved than at that point.

"That's not all that happened." He started pushing me against the back door, keeping me in place while he talked to me, staring me right in my eyes. "Something led up to that point where you felt the need to hit something I wanna know what it was."

I calmly shook my head, refusing him, a man who looked terrifying in the way he spoke and moved. "What happened in there is between my brother and me alone." He gave me a serious look, one that said nothing was between us anymore, nothing would ever be just me and Caleb anymore. From the moment we stepped into Charming, the secrets between us ceased. They were all going to find out soon...very soon and I could do so little to stop the incoming tornado I knew would destroy every wall I built, every barrier to keep the truth safe.

He chuckled, thinking my naiveness was something to laugh at. "You're just like you're mother. Thinking you can hide shit from us, from me. But I'll find out. I _always_ do." He whispered the last part, directly to me to get the point across. He was that type of person. He knew how to get information that was kept from him. Was I really like my mother? Yet how would he know that? My mother's past was still cloudy. I knew little about her life in Charming and I knew she had secrets.

Secrets that just like mine, would cause more harm than good if they came out.

"We'll see." I challenged him, setting a hard look at him. I knew it was stupid to challenge a person like him but I had a problem with people who thought they could do anything.

He smirked and agreed, "Yeah we will and you'll see this family doesn't know what a secret is."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Mom was upset with the both of us. Not only did she had to deal with whatever was going on with Danny but us getting into a brawl didn't help much either. She reprimanded the both us after making sure Caleb's stomach wasn't damage. I must've hit him hard...well its not like I meant to. I don't like causing people pain but when I got angry I couldn't stop. Anger issues I know. Mom punished us both in the end because we both participated in the brawl though Caleb got the worse of it.

Clay and Jax both talked to him and hitting me, like it wasn't bad enough that I seriously injured him but they lectured him about putting his hands on a girl. They didn't take any excuse from him. They told him he was never to raise a fist against a girl/woman. I didn't know whether to be offended or grateful. I mean I could hold my own but I wasn't in the mood to get in an arguement with another person. I was worn out and hurting in so many different places.

Mom and Gemma had a talk with me though and I didn't like how the conversation was going. At all.

"Understand that we just want to get to what's bothering the both of you." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at Gemma. I knew she meant well but wasn't it obvious we didn't want to talk about _an_y_thing_.

Gemma didn't seem to like this and she snapped at me. "Don't roll you're eyes at me missy." I glared at her and stood up from my seat. Grandmother or not I wasn't going to sit by and have this talk with them.

"Callie sit down." Mom ordered me in her stern voice.

I shook my head. "No." It was a direct refusal. "I won't be forced to listen to both of you're bullshit talks!" I nearly screamed if not for having the decency to keep my cool. Jax, Clay, and Happy glared at me not like how I was talking back to my mother or Gemma.

"You respect you're mother and sit the fuck down!" Clay shouted and I held my head up at him.

"Make me old man! I don't give a damn if you're my family but until you can understand my boundaries I won't tell any of you shit!" I whirled around only to come face to face with my pained-looked brother.

Caleb had a defeated look in his eyes, one that told me he couldn't keep it all in anymore. He was going to tell. He was going to tell or make me do it. Either way it was going to come out. No...I worked so hard...so long to keep these barriers up he wasn't going to tear them down! No...

"Tell them..." He whispered clutching his stomach in pain. "Tell them or I will."

I bit my lip holding in the tears and anger. "Tell us what Callie?" Mom questioned in her motherly tone. The tone I waited to hear for so long. The tone that _almost_ made me crack down.

"Tell them!" Caleb hollered pushing me by the shoulders. I shook my head. "Tell them what he did to us! Tell them what he did to you!" He was pleading now, begging me to confess the horrid secret he barely found out was weighing him down. Now he knew how I felt everyday.

"Callie." Happy's raspy voice, the one that made the dam break. I turned around keeping my head bowed. I couldn't look them in the eyes. I was so...so ashamed.

Caleb pushed past me and spoke so loud and clear, despite the way he wanted to crack down. "Danny beat me."

Mom looked like she wanted to kill Danny. "He made me defenseless but I fought back the best I could and when I did he beat me harder." Caleb then nudged me with his elbow.

_Tell them_ A part whispered. _Tell them and be free of the burden. Just tell them what he did._

And so, my deadly secret I knew would destroy everything burst forth.

"Danny raped me!" I yelled and I sobbed afterward into my hands, shame filling my being in waves I never knew possible. It was real. The rape was real. Danny was back and I was so scared now, more than I ever was.


	20. Chapter 19: Channeling

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. Enjoy and review.

* * *

Chapter 19: Channeling

* * *

Everyone's eyes were on me. Everyone horrified at the news forced out me. I was so ashamed for having let out the secret I kept in for so long. It was Caleb's fault. All his! If he didn't feel the need to confess, to get rid of the burden, then I wouldn't be feeling so vulnerable.

I had crumpled to the floor after my confession in a broken mess of sobs. What I was trying to avoid for so long happened and I never had a plan for how I was going to get through this. I never imagined I would ever break down again. Once was enough and even then I didn't fully crack but this time was different. I cried and cried until I felt like I couldn't cry anymore.

"That fucker is dead." Someone speak but I was too distraught to pay attention. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. "He's fucking _dead_."

Arms wrapped around me as I sat still on the floor. The arms of the one who forced me into this position yet I tossed myself at my big brother, sobbing uncontrollably still. He held me tight against him, apologizing over and over again for what he had to do.

Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve such pain and shame? I had done nothing to that man he just took what I could never get back. I just wanted another chance, to go back that day and change what happened. If I only knew what I knew now…

"Callie…Callie come on girl." Mom's soft tone broke through my loud sobs. I felt her hands on me and I leaned against her, allowing her to help pull me up. I kept my face against her chest trying to hide my face from the knowing looks of everyone else. I didn't want to see the faces of pity. I pitied myself far too long. I didn't need it.

Mom walked me to the kitchen, getting me a glass of water and then helped me go upstairs. I just wanted to be alone more than anything that moment. I needed to rethink about everything and calm the storm inside me. All my emotions were whacked since my…attack…and I couldn't control anything anymore.

"Call me if you need anything sweetie." I nodded and watched her walk out leaving the door cracked a bit. I sat on my bed with the glass of water in my hand, swirling my finger around the edge of the glass.

The silence in my room wasn't what I thought I wanted. I wanted to be around people, anyone, who could make me stop thinking even for just a second. I wanted things to go back to the way it was before anything happened. It was crazy how something could ruin a person's life if they let it. And that's exactly what I was doing. I let Danny control me still by letting the damage of what he'd done ruin me. To overcome I had to let go. But the anger…the rage inside wasn't so easy to just let out. I needed an outlet but I just didn't have one.

* * *

Slowly I drank the water noticing just how parched I was from all my crying. Water never felt so good. Once I finished the glass I sat there with it in my hand still debating what to do. I was going to burst but I didn't want to.

So I did what I should of done a long time ago.

I threw the glass at the wall, watching it shatter all over the place and shards fly in different directions. Normally I would of come to my senses but when I tossed the glass I felt…better. So I got up from my seat and searched around for something else.

I grabbed a snow globe that was on my counter and without thinking tossed it at the same wall I tossed the glass. More glass covered my rug but I could've cared less. On the same nightstand was my alarm clock and I grabbed that too, throwing it with perfect aim at the door. It broke when it smashed into the door, the plug flying through the air and whipping at my arm. I saw this happen but for some odd reason I didn't feel it.

The lamp was next. I pushed it aside, and it being made of special kind of glass, it broke in pieces too. I was starting to feel a bit better. But as always I was interrupted.

My door flew open there standing was Happy and Mom. Why was he still here? He held his head up high, his eyes stone hard and an expressionless face. I raised my head to be like his. He didn't pity me. He wasn't going to give me that 'I'm sorry that happened to you' act that I was so fucking sick of seeing. He was giving me what I wanted. He knew I was screwed up but I could be fixed.

"Callie what do you think you're doing?" Mom seethed, switching on the light. Her horrified look at the damage I had caused was enough to tell me I was in deep shit. She slowly walked around the glass bending to see what I had broken. "She's destructive like someone I know." I knew she whispered it but I could still hear her and I was sure Happy did too.

"Jaz I need to talk to you alone." Happy told her in sharp tone. He knew the hidden meaning behind Mom's words that I wouldn't understand til much later.

Mom froze from where she was bent. "O-Okay Hap." She stuttered when she spoke to him showing me she knew he knew something. "Callie you better get cleaning. I want all this glass gone when I get back." Yet with me she kept her 'Mom' voice.

So both adults left me to my room, leaving me to clean up my mess.

One good thing came out of me doing that though.

The raging storm that had been inside me for so long was finally calmed. For now at least and I could handle that.


	21. Chapter 20: Ill-Prepared

**A/N: I finally got the inspiration for the long awaited part. This might make me lose some viewers but this is where the story was supposed to go. Read carefully and I hope you all enjoy. Please read and review. :D  
**

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Chapter 20: Ill-prepared

I stayed up in my room the rest of the day, I wasn't in the mood to deal with people and their questions and those _pitiful_ eyes. Yes, I was raped. Yes, I was angry, But don't you for one second think what I needed was pity. I needed to get over the incident, give myself peace but all the anger and sadness wouldn't allow me. I had to see him pay for what he did.

If my _mother_ hadn't chosen him as a boyfriend, hadn't felt the _need_ to be with someone solely because she felt lonely, maybe she would have picked someone better. Maybe she would have picked someone who actually treated her nice and wanted kids. From the beginning he was nothing but a creep, just no one noticed how much of a creep he was until it was too late.

My anger was ill-directed, but not so much as one would think. My mother had her series of bad relationships, all of which ended badly one way or another. She had children young, twins at that. Her idea of motherhood wasn't planned at 19 and in her haste of worry she abandoned her family and raised us on her own, knowing full well just how ill-prepared she would be. Not the best choice but her actions caused this.

Her actions indirectly caused my hell.

And that's why I was so angry. I was a good kid, a good girl, and then that happened to me and all I could think was how I wouldn't be normal again. I wouldn't be able to be with a boy without thinking of what he wants, of what he could do if he really wanted. How screwed up is that?!

Danny would pay with his life.

_If my mother, if she dares tries to forge another relationship with someone while her own children are hurting, she will lose her _only_ daughter._

And I meant that with every fiber in my body.

* * *

0-0-0-0-0-

* * *

Dinner time came around. My mood calmed and I was finally able to come down without fear of breaking down again.

"Hey Callie."

I was at the top of the stairs when I heard my name called. It was Half-Sack.

"Hi. Where's my mom?"

He shrugged. "She's working. I was to come watch you two, again." He said leaning against the kitchen counter. "Your brother went with Juice to get some food. We all got hungry waiting for you." He grinned sheepishly and I shook my head.

"Why do they stick you with babysitting?" I asked as I entered the kitchen.

"'Cuz I'm a prospect. Still have a while to go before they will even consider patching me in. I don't mind, as long as I get them to see I'm responsible enough."

I smirked, "You must love being a Son."

"I do. It's a family. It's nice."

I grabbed a water bottle and went to the living room and sat down. I turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels. He was easy to talk to unlike some of them who had better things to do than talk to some teenage girl.

"Half-Sack?"

He came closer, "Yeah?"

"Why are you really here? Me and Caleb are big enough to watch each other."

He sighed. "I can't tell you. I was told not to tell you."

He didn't have to tell me. I already knew why. They were worried what would happen if we were alone. Danny could easily overpower us both and harm us. Protection was crucial but my only problem was my _mother_ not being here to comfort me. After all, I had been up in the room all day but not once did she come in to ask how I was doing. Did she not care? I was in constant pain but she decided _today_ to not be home with _us._ Yeah, what a mother.

20 minutes later Juice and Caleb arrived with food from a small restaurant. Caleb and I weren't speaking. I don't know if it was due to how he blurted what wasn't his busy or because he too knew Danny was here and deep down he was afraid.

How did I never realize Danny beat him? How could I have not seen? Was I so deep in my own depression to not see my brother in pain every day? Was I a bad sister? I could have protected him. If I had known. But I guess that's exactly what he's thinking about me. He couldn't have done anything. What Danny did left a scar so deep in my soul it, can I ever heal? I would forever feel insecure and afraid. Would I ever be able to say "Yes I was raped." without feeling the negative?

Only time will tell.

* * *

-0-0-0-0-0-

* * *

That had been a quiet dinner, and an even quieter night. Juice and Half-Sack were still at the house, I assumed waiting for my mother to get home until they left. I didn't mind, it was always nice feeling safe with people watching out.

I went up to my room, ready to relax and lay down.

A knock on my door surprised me.

"Callie? Can I come in Callie?" His soft voice made me worry.

"Yeah." I answered loud enough sitting up on my bed.

Caleb slowly opened the door and came in, making sure to close the door behind him. He looked so down and unhappy. "Are you okay?"

His shoulders slumped as he shook his head. "No-." He choked up right then and there and I realized just how broken he was. I shot up from my bed fast and walked over to him. He fell into me and I could feel him crying as I could hear his sobs.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly as I started to cry. He sobbed into me, showing me he was just a scared little boy as much as I was a scared little girl. What Danny did to him was as bad as me. Danny broke him from the outside in, made him feel weak and defenseless and the fact that I was hurt didn't help his already sensitive mind.

"I'm so sorry Callie! I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to help you! Please don't hate me, please." By the end of the only coherent sentence I could understand he was rambling and sobbing and all I could do in comfort was hold him.

I pulled him to the bed and sat with him, holding him close as I tried to soothed him. "I don't hate you Caleb. I could _never_ hate you. You did nothing wrong. What happened was your fault. I'm sorry I never noticed. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. We both know now. We are going to get through this. I promise."

He nodded in my arms as he continued to cry.

_Only when we finally decide to let ourselves be 'weak' do we become strong._

-0-0-0-0-0-

Eventually we ended up asleep on my bed, neither in the position we started in. I awake suddenly to the sound of yelling. Caleb was still passed out, most likely from his lack of sleep. I moved as slow as I could so I wouldn't wake him and covered him up. I wanted to find out what was wrong.

I peeked out into the hallway and I could hear the yelling coming from downstairs perfectly.

"You couldn't just stay home for a day with your own damn kids?! You couldn't just do that for them?!" The voice yelling was Gemma, and I was surprised to hear her scolding my own mother. _Good riddance_.

"I needed to go out and think! How else would I deal with what happened?!" My mom yelled back, her defense weak because she knew just how wrong she was.

"I didn't matter! They needed you. For God's sake, your daughter was _raped_ because of your own stupidity!"

I walked closer to the top of the stairs. From the side view I could see Gemma, Jax, and Happy standing around and part of my mother.

"How dare you blame me! I didn't tell him to rape her! I didn't sit there and watch!"

Gemma snickered, "You might as well have. You're so blinded by the need to have a man in the house you let your own children get attacked! And then I find out instead of going to work you went to the bar and got drunk with some _stranger_. If Happy hadn't been on watch I don't know what would have happened."

I was appalled. Instead of working, she went and got _drunk?_ She didn't even want to be here to comfort us? She couldn't handle the fact that nothing happened to her while everything happened to us?

I quickly walked down the steps, fuming inside.

"You got _drunk_ with some _man_! You were gonna bring him home weren't you!"

My mother glanced at me, angry, and said "My personal life is no concern for any one you! I can sleep with who I want."

"I told you I was raped! I told you what happened to me and you thought bringing home some guy would be the best idea?! What if he came into my room in the middle of the night? Or Caleb's? Did you ever think about that? Huh! You selfish Bitch!"

I couldn't stop the rant. I couldn't stop the anger. I couldn't believe how cold my mother was being. How could she be so ignorant? Did she really need her bed warmed so bad that on the one night we needed her she would try to bring home some man?

My mother stormed towards me and I mentally prepared myself for the hit. I even flinched when I saw her hand go up in the air. Only a few seconds past and nothing happened. I open my eyes to see Happy standing beside my mother.

He had grasped her hand before she could strike me. I could see how tight he was holding her to so she would know he was serious.

In a raspy harsh tone he said the next thing that would tear apart my family.

"Jaz I don't fucking care what _you_ do but you put the safety of _our_ children first."

And just like that, my whole sense of normalcy crippled to a pulp.


End file.
